One surprising question that’s helping me find real rest

Over the last few years, I’ve been working really hard to re-establish the priority of rest in my life. Balancing work + home + school + cleaning + cooking + all the other things had me pretty exhausted, and I’d used the excuse of “I just don’t have time to rest” for far too long.

I started with just one thing – I stopped saying “I can’t. There’s no time!” Instead, I started asking myself the question, “HOW CAN I?”

HOW CAN I start exercising daily…and even enjoy it?

HOW CAN I eat better, without spending all my time in the kitchen?

HOW CAN I let myself take some time for fun and rest, without feeling guilty?

And then I decided to start slow.

• I got up 15 minutes earlier each day and started walking on our treadmill…while watching a show on my phone. Watching a new show only while I’m working out is both fun AND makes me walk a little longer so I can finish the show!
• Instead of starting a new diet regimen (which I always feel like I should probably be doing), I just started tracking my food and staying within my calories. It’s not rocket science. It’s math. It’s not easy, but it’s simple.
• I started reading a book right when I get in bed. It gives me that reading time and also turns my brain off way better than TV does. Two birds with one stone! Or book, as it may be.
• I started thinking about what I needed (physically, mentally, spiritually) each day, and let myself make space for that, instead of hitting the ground running. I spent more time journaling and reading Scripture slowly. I asked God to show me how to live differently. I slowed down purposefully. I took social media off my phone. I looked my children in the eye when talking to them.

After making these changes, I can tell you this – it’s a little of a two-steps forward, one-step back situation. This has been a slow season of re-learning how I talk to myself, how I make decisions, and how I fill my days.

And it began with using the question “How CAN I?” instead of the statement, “I can’t”.

Don’t we all know there are things we can do to take care of ourselves a little better? Rest, sleep, exercise, etc. But we feel like we can’t. We believe there’s not enough time. We are convinced that if we take care of ourselves, the rest of life will fall apart.

In fact, I think that most of us feel like taking care of ourselves would just be adding one more thing to our plates, when we’re already unable to manage what we’ve got.

So we say we can’t. We couldn’t possibly. Doesn’t anyone see all we’re already doing?

I think that what we’re doing may be killing ourselves, slowly.

Maybe we need to start listening to our bodies, slowing down enough to finally pay attention to what our real physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs are. And then, we need to be strong enough to ask for help in getting what we need.

We stop saying “I can’t!” for good. And we start trying to figure out how we CAN. What is really necessary? What is not? What can we trade time for? Who might be able to help us?

This is so hard for me. It might be hard for you, too. But here’s the thing I have learned – God does not desire for us to work ourselves into our grave. He does desire for us to take care of the bodies he’s given us. His Word says…

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

“It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.” – Psalm 127:2

“And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” – Colossians 1:17

When we get down to the root of WHY we live in productive panic, we are faced with a hard truth – we believe everything depends on us. We believe ourselves to be gods of our own lives, able to determine and secure the outcomes we want with our hard work and persistence.

But we are not the ones who hold everything together. That role is always and only the Lord’s.

Do we have responsibility to walk out the roles he has given us? Of course. Wife, mom, employee, boss, daughter, friend. These are good, likely God-given roles that we are to walk out faithfully. But faithfully doesn’t mean perfectly – it means full of faith, trusting that the God who has given us these roles will equip us to carry them out.

When we trust Him with the outcomes, we relieve ourselves of that burden. And we can rejoice in the fact that He gives us what we need, including rest.

These days, I’m still learning how to rest in Him and trust that He will provide. But the truth is that He does. And I can stop saying “I can’t,” and instead start asking, “How can I?”

So today I want to ask – how can YOU?

What is it that you desperately need right now? What has you on the edge of burn out? What rest is God calling you to right now, while He provides for what you need?

He is always offering rest to those of us who are weary and heavy laden. Maybe we need to stop insisting that we don’t need it, and instead receive it with gratefulness.