1. Thank you for sharing. I’m glad I’m not the only one. I’ve had some frustrating library experiences too (but without the littles). I would also like to learn not to YELL so thank you for the book suggestion!

  2. I had to laugh when I read this because I have SO many stories of how my kids have humiliated me in public with their behavior. One of my favorites (I can laugh about it now) is when my 10 year old son was around 5. All of my kids bad behavior usually takes place at the grocery store. We were on our weekly grocery outing, in the produce section. You know the hoses that sit just inside the produce bins to spray the fruits and veggies? My son had picked it up out of it’s tray and it fell to the floor. I had to find someone and tell them what happened so it could be put back properly. The employee was a little annoyed. The VERY next week, same thing happens! Except this time the SAME employee witnesses the whole thing. We got out of the produce section as quickly as we could without saying a word! I was pregnant at the time and I’m sure people were thinking I didn’t have any business bringing more trouble makers into the world.

  3. Oh man I have had plenty. I have two boys, twins. I’m a first time momma. They are very full of energy. Their first ride on a kiddie canoe they were kicked off because they would not keep their hands in the boat. In fact the more they were yelled at by us and the worker to stop the more they began to splash. Mine are very head strong both delayed speakers as well. It’s tough but you helped give me some perspective. Thank you so much!

  4. Stephanie says:

    I have never commented on a blog post before, but I had to comment on this. I am so sorry that you were treated that way!! As a mother of 2 boys, I have definitely been there. Our embarrassing library experience happened while we were living in Colorado. They had a wonderful 2 story library in our town. At the time, my boys were 4 and 1. I was pushing my 1 year old in the stroller while my 4 year old was happily playing at the Lego table. I looked away for a couple seconds and all of a sudden, the fire alarm is going off! Everyone has to evacuate! My 4 year old had pulled an alarm that was conveniently located near the Lego table! I scooped him up as everyone trickled out to the parking lot. The fire department came to check the building and gave everyone the ok to re enter. I was on the receiving end of disapproving glances. I profusely apologized to everyone, including the firefighters. From then on, I kept an obsessive eye on my eldest, as he has always been a “button pusher” — like he has no self control when there is a shiny button. He is now 15 , and in my humble opinion, is brilliant , and wants to be an engineer 🙂 Take heart— this too shall pass.

  5. Please know I am giving you a cyber hug right now! Thank you! Thank you for being my second sweet reminder of grace this week. I have struggled this week with my 3 truly wonderful but rambunctious boys. I’m learning to show them grace and mercy the way in the midst of chaos the way God shows me grace and mercy everyday. This blog post described a day in my life to a T! Wow! Lol!? May God bless you and your family. ❤

  6. This is such a crazy story!!! So I have worked at a library for 2+ years now.

    1. We do not have overdue fines until your book is SIXTY DAYS overdue, and even then you’re all good if you just return it.
    2. I have never even heard of a reshelving fee. That’s absolutely ridiculous.
    3. They should have helped you check out your books.
    4. That guy should have backed off.
    5. That is SO NOT a situation that my library system would EVER KICK SOMEONE OUT FOR?!? Like, we kick someone out if they are screaming at another patron or at us for an extended period of time. If they are passed out drunk on the floor. If they are cursing like sailors and don’t stop after being warned.

    Not if they are trying to handle kids and 32 books. Ummm no. Wouldn’t happen.

    Good job with the way you handled it!!!! 🙂

  7. You handled that very well. I would love to contact the library on your behalf. That was awful. They should have helped you not add fire to the fuel. Please go back and hold your head high!! Please Pray for those awful people who should NOT work there!!

  8. Sounds like the library owes you an apology. They saw you were struggling with the self checkout and the kids and should have stepped in to help. Even Walmart does that and they usually have terrible service.

  9. All I have to say is WOW!! Wow for how you were treated, that’s a despicable way to treat a stressed mom and her two kiddos. The reshelving fee is just so foreign a concept to me, I get overdue fines, but that fee is just SILLY! This isn’t blockbuster, it’s a library ? Also, wow for how YOU reacted!! Because honestly I can’t say I would have done the same…unless God quite literally glued my lips. Lol! Reading I was like, They what? He What?! Getting in little Nathan’s face? Oh hunny that’s a hard NO. You don’t know me, you don’t know my kid, and you definitely don’t look or act like you have any of you own so back up son or momma bear will step up. (See what I mean about not feeling I’d react as well?) I’m not even sure I’d ever step foot back into that library either. Not without having first notified the head honcho of their employee’s behavior and situation and getting an apology. I can’t believe that they would be ok with an employee acting as that young man did. You handled that all with such beauty!! I pray, should I ever be in a similar situation, I remember your story and the grace you found in the heat of the moment and dig for that grace in my heated moment. God Bless you beautiful Momma!! You are an inspiration ??

  10. I’m so sorry for the experience you had with your local library. We’ve all been there as moms and I am on the other side as a library worker. This was not handled in the way I would have. They should have offered you assistance with checking out your books. As for the reshelving fee, at our library it’s $2 which helps cover the cost of postage to return the books to their homes ?

    Be blessed

  11. The title of your post intrigued me. Mostly because I’ve wondered if/when I would get kicked out of our library. Our library is open three days a week while school is out. Only one of those days is in the morning – small town. It is common for my kids to go running around the library if we have stayed there too long. I have two that are mobile. So, I catch one and then I have to catch the other one and hope that the first stays or try and have two while caring the non-mobile one. However, thankfully that only happens once in a while and they have gotten better, but I have been told that I need to keep my kids in line and that I need to watch them more carefully so that they don’t say: take the dirt out of the fake plants and put it on the ground.

    All in all it was a good reminder that, yes kids act up but our response makes a world of difference. Thanks!

  12. I love this story. As a mother of *multple* children myself, I can totally identify. Something I’ve learned: it’s okay to ask for help. I know not everyone is a good person and trustworthy, but other moms and grandmas nearby are often ready to help at a moments notice! I totally would have offered to help, but most people will wait for you to ask. Blessings!

  13. I empathize with your terrible day.. It would have been a better idea if one if those nice Library peeps would’ve come over to help speed the process OR maybe help redirect your daughters energy so she isn’t in anyone way or hurt someone or maybe Gosh I don’t know…but to stand there & watch you struggle is just awful & I appauld your habit of changing how you see the bigger picture & try ” not sweat the small stuff” THAT is a lesson/habit I’m still working on myself. .. & im older than 31..?

  14. Love this story! Sounds like you must be one amazing mommy with kids that are happy enough to express themselves! My favorite stories of my kids are ones like this!

  15. So sorry about the experience! I would definitely write an e-mail to the library director along with a few suggestions as to how to make the library more family friendly. I absolutely hate self-check out stations at libraries. As a mom with three young kids in tow, it is MUCH easier to have someone else do the check out while I keep an eye on my children. I have suggested this at a couple of libraries and it has always been received well.

  16. Oh Kayse, you handled this beautifully, like a well-seasoned mom. One instance of complete mortification (is that a word?) which gives me much empathy occurred recently as we also did a “late walk of shame” into school one morning. To make matters worse, the principal was sitting in the lobby. I tried to slink by unseen, but he saw us and in his booming voice said, “GOOD MORNING, NATALIE”!, while checking his watch to ensure it was really still morning…..Natalie was grumpy, one reason that made us late and she did NOT want to say good morning to Mr. Spencer, who looked at her expectantly. I told her to say good morning in a stage whisper voice. She was not having it. I “commanded” her to say good morning….still no greeting. Tried the whisper again, this time in “clenched-teeth” mode. Uh Uh. Mr .Spencer just kept looking and smiling. I felt the blood boiling in my cheeks. So I took her outside the door and had a long conversation about how it is polite to say good morning. This “good morning greeting” exercise, or lack thereof, was preventing us all from checking her into her class. But I was determined to have my way and have her say good morning to the principal. So back into the office we go, and I nudge Natalie….crickets. So in a loud voice to match Mr. Spencer’s, I say….”NATALIE HAS SOMETHING TO SAY”! (No, I could not just sign her in and quietly fade away like most normal mothers). At that point, the entire front office stops and all the ladies look up from their desks and Mr. Spencer continues to smile. Natalie opens her mouth and I begin to relax… smiling expectantly ….and the child says, “Well, “SHE” (whacking the lady who gave birth to her in the ribs) WANTS ME TO SAY GOOD MORNING – and IT’S ALL “HER” IDEA”! And at that point, I realize Natalie has outsmarted us all. I stand completely mortified with my mouth open….in the front office with everyone frozen in a smile, even Mr. Spencer. Time stands still as we listen to about 4 ticks of the wall clock. The school nurse finally rescues us, swings out of her office and say’s matter of factly, ” Natalie, let’s get you to class. Come with me”, as I stand dumbfounded in the office. Frozen to the floor. Mouth still open. I needed to find a way to leave and then Mr. Spencer kindly says, “Don’t worry, Paige. It happens to us all. At least you tried”. Whew! So we all have those “library” moments and luckily they are just temporary, a blip of embarrassment in a sea of otherwise great moments. (P.S. – My daughter is usually so loving and cheerful….just not always in the a.m., kinda like her mother)!

  17. I always thought kids who acted out in public had to be so undisciplined at home…until I became a mom. 🙂 God truly humbled me with more than one screaming kid incident in the stores, and I realized it’s just the sinful nature of our adorable kiddos to act that way in public on occasion no matter how much training they’ve had. And I’m really surprised as well that a library would make you feel the way they did. Great job handling it well!

  18. Nice story! May God bless you and your kids. Get back in the library and let your daughter and son play all they want.
    Just wanted to tell you that we don’t have a million days to live on earth. We have, at the max, about 37000 days, if we live well past 100! That’s close to 4% of a million.

  19. So, we were staying in a VERY nice hotel on the beach, for a business conference for my husband. With a very sensitive 2 year old & 7 month old, I really should have just stayed home. But, I REALLY wanted to stay in that nice hotel that we could never, ever afford ourselves. We told my son that we were going to the beach, which he translated as going to someone named “Beach’s” house. Hence, he thought all employeres of the hotel were named Beach. Which I was able to keep on the down low until we walked into the restaurant for breakfast & the sweet hostess asked my son what he wanted to eat. He yelled, “I want pancakes, Beach!” Only it didn’t sound exactly like he said “beach.” Everyone turned and stared at us. Mortification doesn’t even begin to cover it!

    1. Oh Jennifer! ? I cracked up reading this! I don’t even know what I would have said or done. At least we all know the truth lol ?

  20. Hi Kayse,
    Just wanted to share my embarrassing (and kind of sad) story. When my youngest son was 4 years old, I attempted to take him to a well known hair cutting place. It was the 3rd time that we had been, been told we’d be seen in 15 minutes and then left after being ignored for 45 minutes (the first time, I was with all three of my kids. Hubby was deployed). He is very active and loves to play (as do most 4 yr olds, though he is now 7). It was fine for the first 30 minutes- until a little friend came in from his play group. Then all you know what broke loose. He was showing off, being loud, etc. When it came to the point that he was hyped up, I went to the lady at the front desk and asked why it was taking so long. She explained they had perm appointments- I was a tad annoyed and reminded her that she gave me a 15 minute time frame. I walked over to one of THREE stylists sitting there chatting with their clients who were waiting for product to set and asked if they could take 15 minutes to cut my son’s hair. One gal got up and said, “Sure, she won’t be done for another 30 minutes”. That kind of put me over the edge. Anyway, I got my son (who was running around me in circles) and he got his hair cut. Later that day, I had taken all of my kids to the mall and their babysitter runs out of a store and shows me that some random teenager who was in the hair place videoed my kid, put it on the internet, and talked about “beating a kid like that”. Holy cow. My babysitter knew the girl and gave me her parents contact info. My then 9 yr old said, “you should call the cops- she’s a cyber-bullying a little kid”. When a 9 yr old gets it, you know the teenager is in some serious need of discipline herself. Anyway, I didn’t call the cops but I did call the mom. We had a great conversation and asked her if she would “beat her kid for being an obnoxious bully”. It was terrible. Apparently, the video had over 500 views before I even knew about it. Sadly, a few kids at the school who knew our family decided to get back at the girl- not at all what I would ever want. Though it was nothing physical, it wasn’t necessary as she humbled herself enough to come over and apologize (in tears) for her actions. I attempted to contact the hair cutting place (corporate) and they never got back to me…ah well- all three of my kiddos are well-adjusted, hilarious, and smart homeschooled people 🙂

  21. I’m so sorry about your experience! That man needs to learn some better customer service skills. Libraries are for everyone, even for kids who are still learning how to behave in them. It’s not like you were just hanging out and letting Nathan wail away for the foreseeable future. You were trying to get in and out as quickly as possible! That’s difficult with two kids! If it was really causing so much disruption, he could have asked what he could do to help, instead of putting all the blame on you and telling you to fix the situation. He should have seen that you were trying.

    I admire the way you handled the situation, and how you were able to talk about it calmly with your kids. (I need to remember that when I want to yell and scream at my kids.) You’re absolutely right that this was just one moment amidst the many moments you spend with your kids. It doesn’t define you and your relationship with them. And it doesn’t make you a bad mother!

    I’m currently in school for library science, and I hope to be working as a librarian in the future. In my classes, I’ve learned that we want people to feel welcome in the library. We’re there to serve the community. I feel like that should already be a given for someone who wants to work in a library, but I guess it’s not, given that man’s reaction. I’m so sorry you weren’t treated well.

    Also, a $1 reshelving fee?! That’s ridiculous!

  22. Alissa W. says:

    I am a Library Director (and long time reader/lurker of your blog) and I am upset on your behalf. At my library, and the other libraries I’ve worked at we always stress customer service. I am SO SORRY you had a negative library experience. I would recommend you email your library director because if one of my employees treated a customer that way I would want to know. Also, most libraries allow renewals by phone or through an online system, so that might help prevent the overdue fines?
    And please don’t feel mortified or embarrassed to return – they should be embarrassed for how they treated you – instead of ignoring the problem they should have offered you help!

  23. Goodness! That sounds like a painful experience :/ Sorry, friend.
    Also, your library sounds uncool. Reshelving fees? Limits on book check outs? Craziness!

    1. Totally agree!! At my library we technically have a 100 item checkout limit, but for homeschool moms and teachers it’s a lot more. Not that many people get to 100!

  24. Can you believe our library only makes you pay fines for overdue DVDs?! What’s the purpose of having due dates on books? (I mean, I still try to stay close to my days, but really…. I’m not sure how that policy ever came about?)

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