Why I Took Away the TV (It’s Not What You Might Think.)
I hit my limit a couple of days ago.
At the end of a long day, I love watching TV with my husband. I’m exhausted, it’s brainless, and I can semi-relax. And the kids love watching a show on PBS. So over the summer, we’v gotten into the habit of splitting up – them at the kitchen counter watching a show on the iPad, and us on the couch watching the next episode of NCIS on Netflix.
I am not proud of this. I’m just telling it like it is.
It’s been easy to justify it because MOMMA’S TIRED, Y’ALL, and Daddy never says “no” to watching a show, and neither do the kids. It’s a few minutes of downtime before gearing up again to do the bedtime routine, and gosh-darn-it, I deserve some down time, don’t I?
But a couple of days ago, I saw how distracted we all were. How my son screamed when I didn’t immediately reach for the iPad at dinnertime. How no one could listen to anyone else talking, because the TV was on. And how the electronics seemed to come before relationships.
And I remembered that this wasn’t what I want for my family.
I want family dinners at the dinner table, like I had growing up. I want kids who can actually focus on a conversation instead of getting distracted by a screen. I want to raise little people who know what it’s like to spend time together. Not just next to each other, but TOGETHER.
So I braced myself for the reaction I knew would come when I told the kids that the next day, we wouldn’t be watching TV.
Emily started crying. CRYING. Because she couldn’t watch TV. And what would we dooooooooooo?
I told her we’d read books. And do puzzles.
She immediately perked up. “And play outside? And do crafts?!”
“You bet!” I said, and she literally started jumping around her room, yelling “I LOVE CRAFTS! I LOVE OUTSIDE! I LOVE PUZZLES! LET’S PLAY CARDS! IT’S GOING TO BE A GREAT DAY! CAN WE START NOW?!?!”
She was…excited? I was shocked. And that’s when I realized that the problem was less the kids and more me.
When the kids are too loud, instead of sending them outside, I put on a show.
When we have lunch, I don’t turn on music, I hand them the iPad.
When I need just a minute of peace and quiet forgoodnesssake, I don’t get out the books, I grab the remote for the Apple TV.
They are not addicted to TV, I AM.
Today, we haven’t turned it on once. This morning, when Emily woke up early, she read a book about fish and learned all about the coral reef while I took a shower. After breakfast, when their voices were bouncing off the wall, I sent them outside where they jumped on the trampoline and wore themselves out for a good long nap. During lunch, we listened to Adventures in Odyssey and talked about the decisions those characters were making. In the afternoon we got out puzzles and coloring books and played cards and read books and cooked dinner.
We did it, all of us. I didn’t even watch Friends during their naptime, and you guys, that’s saying something.
It wasn’t a perfect day. There were arguments and consequences (them) and patience lost (me). But it was a simpler day. We had significantly less distractions, and overall, less noise.
(And don’t we all want less noise? Yes and amen.)
So I took the TV away. Indefinitely. Because mommy needed to remember that there are other things to do.
How do you handle TV in your house?
Kayse Pratt serves Christian women as a writer + designer, creating home + life management resources that help those women plan their days around what matters most. She’s created the most unique planner on the market, helped over 400 women create custom home management plans, and works with hundreds of women each month inside her membership, teaching them how to plan their days around what matters most. When she’s not designing printables or writing essays, you’ll find Kayse homeschooling her kids, reading a cheesy novel with a giant cup of tea in hand, or watching an old show from the 90’s with her husband, who is her very best friend.
I am with you! On September 12th last year, I realized I was addicted to my cell. So I took the jump. I deleted Facebook off my phone. I continued to watched dvds on my laptop though. Now I’m keeping my laptop off, and even docking my cell at night away from my bed. I feel so much better, more free, I also better, and my house has stayed clean for the longest time in history. I am so thankful for my ride awakening back in September. It’s a process, but thankfully God doesn’t stop working on me just because I learn slowly.
Great article!
The Foxtel salesman was totally shocked (and probably thought I was lying) when I told him we didn’t have a TV.
“But you’ll be getting one, right?” Haha, no.
We chose not to have a TV when we got married and set up our home.
Quite simply it came down to the fact that we completely zone out to it. We ignore conversations and watch rubbish that I would never go out of my way to view, but I mindlessly sit there simply because it’s on.
We love our TV free house 🙂
Thank you so much for this article! We have four children with a big age gap between the older two and the younger two. I really had a lot of favorite shows that I “had to watch” with the older two. The 2nd oldest watched T.V. all of the time. Now at 11, he is so lazy and it is all of my fault! However, by the LORD’s grace, I am raising the younger two different. They only get one 30-min. video after their nap. After that, we get back on schedule (reading a book together, snack, and then an activity or free time). They are 4 and 2. I schedule at least a 30min. time for them to go outside before nap. The 4 year old balks, but she knows she will not get her 30min. video time. Through out the day they are either helping me around the house or playing together. I see a big difference between us watching T.V. and not watching T.V. I am so glad that by the grace of God, I see the importance of letting it go. By the way, it is nap time now. So that is my downtime!!!
We only allow movies or TV on weekends, and if they pitch a fit about stopping there are no more shows that weekend. It’s hard to stick to sometimes (hubby’s better at that than me!), but has been so worth it. My 3 yr old really would rather just stay in the house & watch something than play outside, but we’ve noticed he’s much more calm & happy since starting this. It hasn’t been that long, so as it becomes a routine I expect the fussing to become less as well. I agree, it was quite a bit my addiction as well. Cause, it’s just easier to let him watch a show than settle scraps & keep him occupied :/
My heart is broken for the families who just don’t see or choose not to see what is happening. All the technology is changing families into robots or at least isolated and detached members. As an old geezer I am thankful my family was raised BEFORE all the STUFF became more important than people and relationships. But my grown children have fallen for the trap and have raised my grands to feel deprived without the best phone, tablet, computer. My heart aches when I go to visit for a couple hours and I find myself facing 2 who are absorbed in TV and/or texting or BOTH at the same time. I barely get a grunt out of either of them and then it is time to go. If we go to dinner together, a rare occasion, I mostly sit quietly while looking at the tops of the heads of 2 grands and their parents entertaining themselves with something that is sucking the very life blood from our relationship. I am invisible and the kids aren’t old enough to understand that grandma wont live forever……but their parents are…
You sound like an amazing mom and grandma! I’m grateful for wise women like you!
No kiddos (out of the womb, yet, anyway!) but oi. This is me/us. We went out for lunch the other day and talked through the whole meal, actually paying attention to each other the entire time, instead of playing a video game or watching a TV show or browsing Facebook. It was great, but it made me realize just what a habit we’d gotten into. And I spend way too much time on the computer when I could or should be doing more productive or valuable things (reading an actual book, housework, etc., etc.). The messy kitchen is giving me all kinds of guilt pangs right this second.
Thanks for the wake-up call! 🙂
Wow. My husband and I are both out of work and I find myself on the PC 90% of the time, doing things that are really non-productive. He is watching TV all day. Yes, we both need to get productive in other ways. We really are starting to work on it. It is really addictive!
This is our house at the moment. Way too much TV because dad is working about four hours away during the week, and this is so much easier. As soon as we all feel better (caught a nasty cold), I’m doing this a couple of nights a week.
I have found that giving up TV is very liberating. I once thought I “had to watch” this show or “couldn’t miss” now I watch when or if I want to watch TV, but I enjoy doing many other things. I notice my children don’t find TV to be necessary either.
Yep, add me to the list of people who needed this too. When my husband’s working late I’m too quick to let the kiddos eat dinner in front of a show instead of teaching them table manners (SO. MUCH. HARDER.) but that’s my job…to TEACH them. Time to get on it!
Dang it. This is where we are in my house, too. I mean the pre-taking-it-away stage. SIGH. GREAT BIG SIGH. (Haha! And how funny that my post that pops up below is about taking a FORCED technology timeout!)
I know! I thought our twin posts were funny. 🙂
This starts today for us, too! And you’re so right–I’m as guilty as them because it’s easy. Actually littles are watching Veggies right now bc I’m getting in the shower BUT that’s it. Really. School starts next week and I’m making the “no tv” rule stick this year. We can be in it together 🙂