When you feel like you can’t do ALL THE THINGS…
I think the most difficult part of everyday motherhood is the fact that we are pulled in ten different directions, all at once.
I’m not even talking about the hour before school in the morning, where you’re simultaneously making breakfast, tying shoes, squashing an argument, and loading the dishwasher.
Nope, I’m talking about the bigger pulls. The thing that screams “I SHOULD BE YOUR PRIORITY RIGHT NOW!” Except there are actually lots of those things, and we don’t know which one really SHOULD be the priority.
We can figure out our season, narrow our focus, and set goals – and those things are important & helpful. That’s the first step.
But it’s the day-to-day, living out the important things…THAT’S where the rubber meets the road. That’s where I think many of us struggle.
I know I do.
I’m a wife. I’m a mom. I’m a housekeeper, and a cook. I’m a small business owner, and a chauffeur. I’m a perfectionist and also ironically inconsistent.
I’m an introvert who needs a lot of downtime, but I’m also a mom of two little (and very loud) kids. I work from home, but I also manage a house and try to keep food on the table. I’m working on my health & self-discipline, but I really enjoy relaxing with a few freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.
It’s just a lot, right? And it all feels important.
Honestly, it all IS important. So, when we’re trying to figure out what we should be doing next, I don’t think the right question is, “Well, what’s NOT important?” That’s an impossible question, because the answer is almost always, “They are all important!”
I think the question we need to be asking is, “What’s MOST important, right now?”
When we ask what’s most important in this day, this week, or this season, it’s so much easier to figure out how we should be spending our time.
For me, it’s two things. Health & rest. Why? Because EVERYTHING ELSE is affected by those two things.
I need to get in exercise & eat nourishing food each day, because that will get me closer to my goal of being healthy, & having the energy and body to play with my kids and have adventures with my family.
I also need to get enough sleep, read a book, and have my quiet time each day. Those things are rest for me – they keep my mind focused on the Lord, and they keep me filled so that I can pour out for my family.
Do you know what that means, though? In reality, focusing on just those two things means I have to sacrifice something else. And that sacrifice is hard. It’s good, and it’s worth it, because my health and my rest are absolutely essential for myself and the good of my family.
But it’s still hard. Because all of those other things? I love them. They just simply aren’t the BEST choices for me and my family RIGHT NOW.
So, in this season, I won’t have three blog posts up every week, like I want to. In fact, I’m aiming for just one really good, helpful blog post each week. And if that means that this blog grows more slowly than I’d hoped, that’s okay.
And in this season, I won’t have interesting dinners on the table every night. I will probably have chicken and veggies, and maybe rice if my kids are lucky. They will be healthy, and sometimes they will be Chick Fil A, but they will not be complicated.
And in this season, we are not going to do ALL THE THINGS. We are not signing up for soccer, or t-ball, or gymnastics, or anything else. We are doing school, and family and we’re going to do those well.
Because here’s the thing. One day, maybe we’ll be able to do more. One day, my kids will be older, and maybe I’ll be somewhat athletic, and we’ll all have the capacity to handle a little more.
But today… today we don’t. Today we can do only what we can do, and then we can pry our tightly grasped fingers open and release the rest of our plans to the Lord. We can trust Him with all the important things. He never meant for us to carry them all at once, all by ourselves.
So today, friends, if you feel like you can’t do ALL THE THINGS anymore, guess what? You’re right. You can’t. So stop beating yourself up about it, and stop trying to figure out a way to do everything.
Instead, I want you to ask yourself this question: What’s MOST important to you & your family, right now, in this season?
Pray about that. Figure that out. And then let the rest go for right now.
“Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
– Matthew 11:28
Kayse Pratt serves Christian women as a writer + designer, creating home + life management resources that help those women plan their days around what matters most. She’s created the most unique planner on the market, helped over 400 women create custom home management plans, and works with hundreds of women each month inside her membership, teaching them how to plan their days around what matters most. When she’s not designing printables or writing essays, you’ll find Kayse homeschooling her kids, reading a cheesy novel with a giant cup of tea in hand, or watching an old show from the 90’s with her husband, who is her very best friend.
Sitting here with chaos all around me. Just staring at the mess everything is in now! Mom of 3 under 4 years. Thinking what I should do! Sat down and read you post! Thankyou
You are a God send for me today! And I have no doubt that if we lived close we could be absolute best friends! Thank you!!!! ?
I totally missed the signup day for t ball and I don’t even feel bad about it. I’m going to relish our Saturdays without early morning games this season!
My girlfriend recommended your site and I have loved being a part of it. Thank you for taking the time! You really just have to do your best to be “ok” with the balls of dog hair under the table and the dust on everything! Otherwise, you make yourself NUTS! Even though my children are 22, 21 and 16….it’s still hard. With errands, church obligations, housework, cooking and time for yourself. Then, when you get older, you don’t have as much energy either. I always say “Better Homes and Gardens is not coming here!” It helps me….ha ha. Thank you for reminding me where my focus should be!
I really resonate with your post today and many of your other posts. Last year was the worst year of my life as a wife and mom of 3. I have been in survival mode and trying to work my way out of just surviving. Your posts have been so encouraging. You even helped me think of lunch! It was the rice that did it. lol. So were having chicken, instant curry and rice with whatever veggies I have on hand. 🙂 fyi, cheap rice cookers are amazing, worth the extra space they take up. I actually look forward to one blog a week. I always get behind, even though yours is the only blog I read right now. It’s become part of my focus on what’s important. 🙂 thank-you for your work on this blog. It makes a difference.
Yep! You must have heard me bawling in my front room this morning around 6 am because our house is always in chaos with stuff thrown around everywhere, despite a “place for everything”. We are currently missing a set of keys (important ones of course), a needed water bottle, and my sanity! I can so relate to this and asking the RIGHT question is really helpful!!! Awesome post
Perfect timing for me. Just yesterday I was making a list of the 10,000 things I need to squeeze in along with being a SAHM of 3 under 5 and all of the responsibilities that come along with it. I’m trying to spend some time in the morning on devotion and prayer and fitting in the rest as it comes. That means that my house is a mess, laundry is often piled up, and meals are always running late, but at least I feel at peace because I made time for the most important things that day, starting with God. The rest will fall into place.
Once again, your email came at just the right time. After dropping the kids off at school late, and having a bit of a fit over all the things that need to be done right now, I decided to just relax a bit before tackling the day. Your words are encouraging and always very timely. Thank you for writing and sharing. It reminds me to keep my eyes on Jesus.
P.S. Loving the planner.
Such good encouragement and mind resetting here for this mom of older kids. Just what I needed to focus on what to do next. Thanks! ? I cannot do all the things either and deciding what not to do can be hard. This helps focus me instead of scatter me.