I think the most difficult part of everyday motherhood is the fact that we are pulled in ten different directions, all at once.
I’m not even talking about the hour before school in the morning, where you’re simultaneously making breakfast, tying shoes, squashing an argument, and loading the dishwasher.
Nope, I’m talking about the bigger pulls. The thing that screams “I SHOULD BE YOUR PRIORITY RIGHT NOW!” Except there are actually lots of those things, and we don’t know which one really SHOULD be the priority.
We can figure out our season, narrow our focus, and set goals – and those things are important & helpful. That’s the first step.
But it’s the day-to-day, living out the important things…THAT’S where the rubber meets the road. That’s where I think many of us struggle.
I know I do.
I’m a wife. I’m a mom. I’m a housekeeper, and a cook. I’m a small business owner, and a chauffeur. I’m a perfectionist and also ironically inconsistent.
I’m an introvert who needs a lot of downtime, but I’m also a mom of two little (and very loud) kids. I work from home, but I also manage a house and try to keep food on the table. I’m working on my health & self-discipline, but I really enjoy relaxing with a few freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.
It’s just a lot, right? And it all feels important.
Honestly, it all IS important. So, when we’re trying to figure out what we should be doing next, I don’t think the right question is, “Well, what’s NOT important?” That’s an impossible question, because the answer is almost always, “They are all important!”
I think the question we need to be asking is, “What’s MOST important, right now?”
When we ask what’s most important in this day, this week, or this season, it’s so much easier to figure out how we should be spending our time.
For me, it’s two things. Health & rest. Why? Because EVERYTHING ELSE is affected by those two things.
I need to get in exercise & eat nourishing food each day, because that will get me closer to my goal of being healthy, & having the energy and body to play with my kids and have adventures with my family.
I also need to get enough sleep, read a book, and have my quiet time each day. Those things are rest for me – they keep my mind focused on the Lord, and they keep me filled so that I can pour out for my family.
Do you know what that means, though? In reality, focusing on just those two things means I have to sacrifice something else. And that sacrifice is hard. It’s good, and it’s worth it, because my health and my rest are absolutely essential for myself and the good of my family.
But it’s still hard. Because all of those other things? I love them. They just simply aren’t the BEST choices for me and my family RIGHT NOW.
So, in this season, I won’t have three blog posts up every week, like I want to. In fact, I’m aiming for just one really good, helpful blog post each week. And if that means that this blog grows more slowly than I’d hoped, that’s okay.
And in this season, I won’t have interesting dinners on the table every night. I will probably have chicken and veggies, and maybe rice if my kids are lucky. They will be healthy, and sometimes they will be Chick Fil A, but they will not be complicated.
And in this season, we are not going to do ALL THE THINGS. We are not signing up for soccer, or t-ball, or gymnastics, or anything else. We are doing school, and family and we’re going to do those well.
Because here’s the thing. One day, maybe we’ll be able to do more. One day, my kids will be older, and maybe I’ll be somewhat athletic, and we’ll all have the capacity to handle a little more.
But today… today we don’t. Today we can do only what we can do, and then we can pry our tightly grasped fingers open and release the rest of our plans to the Lord. We can trust Him with all the important things. He never meant for us to carry them all at once, all by ourselves.
So today, friends, if you feel like you can’t do ALL THE THINGS anymore, guess what? You’re right. You can’t. So stop beating yourself up about it, and stop trying to figure out a way to do everything.
Instead, I want you to ask yourself this question: What’s MOST important to you & your family, right now, in this season?
Pray about that. Figure that out. And then let the rest go for right now.
“Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
– Matthew 11:28
Kayse is a wife, mom, and founder of the Anchored Women community. She writes to help women fight busy, find rest, and build a life that’s anchored in Christ. Kayse is also the creator of the S.O.S. Planner, the Anchored Life Kit, and other practical resources that equip women to manage their homes and families in confidence. You can find her writing and her resources at anchored-women.com!