Don’t tell anyone, but I’m just not a baby person.
Yesterday, Nathan was heading toward the closet in their room. Which is a huge disaster right now, and worse every time the kids open it, so I told him no, he couldn’t go in the closet.
He stopped for a second, looked at me, and then started toward it again.
I put my arm out in front if him, stopped him, and said, “Momma said NO,” with my sternest mom-face.
Nathan looked up at me and hesitated. Then, with mischievous eyes and a big grin, he said “Um… Nathan says YES!”
Our boy is so funny, you guys. I can’t even handle it. I had to turn around to hide the fact that I was laughing so hard.
I sat down after putting the kids to bed last night with a huge smile on my face, and I realized something: I’m really, really, really liking my kids right now.
I always love them, don’t get me wrong, but I haven’t always enjoyed the things that come with mothering them. As I sat and tried to figure out why I’m loving this season so much more than any I have before, it dawned on me.
My babies aren’t babies anymore. And I’m loving it.
Don’t hate me, please, but here’s the honest truth – I’m just not a baby person. The pregnancy, the sleepless nights, the spit-up, the constant need, the crying all the livelong day – it’s just not my thing. I love the baby snuggles, and the cute clothes, and all the firsts, but honestly? The rest of it is just not my favorite.
When I was a teacher, the lowest grade I taught was third grade. And there was a reason for that.
Third graders are my jam. They are just starting to gain real independence, we start to be able to have deep conversations, and joke around with each other, and they are just plain fun. I felt like I had tiny people in my classroom that I got to hang out with all day. I love that age. The lower grades were just too stressful for me – the whining, the constant need (again), and all the patience I didn’t think I had.
I don’t have third graders yet, but I’ve got two kids who can TALK. I’ve got two kids with an obvious sense of humor, and we have so much fun together. We can all sing Disney songs, and throw dance parties before bed. We can go out in the middle of the day without worrying about naptime*. With Emily, we’re starting to be able to talk about deeper things, and with Nathan, we’re starting to be able to talk understandably. I can tell both kids to go get their shoes on AND THEY DO IT. (For the most part.) I don’t have to carry around six changes of clothes with me all the time, or wipe up spit up or change blown out diapers anymore.
IT IS GLORIOUS. I feel like I’ve arrived!
And all that guilt I felt while my babies were babies? It’s gone. I’ve realized that there are just different seasons of motherhood that fit our personalities better. AND THAT’S OKAY.
So here’s what I want to say to mommas everywhere:
If you’re a mom who loves babies and can’t wait to snuggle another teeny newborn, I’m cheering you on! You do your thing, sweet momma.
If you’re a mom who loves toddlers and puts together all the sensory bins, I’m cheering you on! You do your thing, creative momma.
If you’re a mom who loves preschoolers and can’t wait to get those finger paints out again, I’m cheering you on! You do your thing, crafty momma.
If you’re a mom who loves her grade school kids and rocks the whole carpool thing, I’m cheering you on! You do your thing, soccer momma.
If you’re a mom who loves tweens and can handle being the strong but gentle wall that they need, I’m cheering you on! You do your thing, wise momma.
If you’re a mom who loves teens and cooks all the food so they have a place to bring their friends over every weekend, I’m cheering you on! You do your thing, cool momma.
We’ve all got our strengths, you guys. And we need each other, because all of our strengths are different! I can take your elementary schooler for an afternoon when you can’t handle ALL THE QUESTIONS anymore. You can take my toddler to the park when I’ve had it up to here by the 7th time he’s tried to jump off the kitchen table. We can get our teens together to hang out and watch a movie while we sneak into the other room with some snacks and the wine.
Moms, you might not be in your best stage right now, but look around you. Gain wisdom and support from other moms, and just keep on doing your thing, loving your kids the best way you know how. You’re amazing, and your kids are lucky to have you. Stop feeling guilty about the seasons you don’t totally enjoy, and just own it. It’s okay. We all understand.
Because all too soon, you’ll be in another season. So rock this one the best you can, and enjoy it while you’re looking forward to the next.
*Just for the record, I do miss naptime. I just feel like that’s something that should stick around well into your 40’s. That’s all.
Tell me: what’s your favorite season of motherhood so far?
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Kayse Pratt serves Christian women as a writer + designer, creating home + life management resources that help those women plan their days around what matters most. She’s created the most unique planner on the market, helped over 400 women create custom home management plans, and works with hundreds of women each month inside her membership, teaching them how to plan their days around what matters most. When she’s not designing printables or writing essays, you’ll find Kayse homeschooling her kids, reading a cheesy novel with a giant cup of tea in hand, or watching an old show from the 90’s with her husband, who is her very best friend.
I’m so glad I am not the only person who is not a baby person! Once we hit about 4, I was good to go. Younger than that was kind of not my season. I am really enjoying my boys as teens. I know people tell horror stories about those years, but I enjoy spending time with them. Of course, my oldest will be leaving his teens this year. I’m not sure how that is even possible!
Hooray for you! We adopted two teenagers in the last two years and are now looking for a preteen to adopt. We love the older kids, with their own personalities and ideas about the world. They are like regular people that just need some help in the right direction. People at church ask me to hold their baby and watch them, and I think they’re cute and all but no thanks, only for a few minutes and then I’ll give them back 😀
I am not a baby person or a either. I am in a few different seasons as I have a preschooler and a preteen and 2 inbetween (the rhyme was unintentional ;)). I love watching as my kiddos grow older and gain more independence, maturity, and responsibility. My oldest is almost a teenager and I think I’m not going to like that phase so much.
Yes!! My mom always said the older we got, the more she liked us. ? I have a feeling I’m going to be the same way. When they asked me to work nursery at church, I about had a panic attack. I love MY baby, but trying to wrangle more of them? As my mom would say, “it’s my version of penance!”
I have a 16 month old now and as we are entering the toddler stage, I find myself enjoying it more and more but I feel like the older he gets, the easier it will be for me. I’m not a baby person. I never wanted kids (I wouldn’t trade my son for anything now, he gives me a good purpose for my life) so the coddling is a challenge for me. I’m so so very happy to know that I’m not alone. That there is a really great mom role model I have who doesn’t love the baby stage either!!
This made me smile. Mostly because I think God has a sense of humor! I am a total baby/toddler/preschool lover. I loved teaching those ages, AND could seriously have a baby on my hip 24-7 without a problem. But my kids came home at eight years old. Yep, both of them. I started parenting from third grade with both of the munchkins and I admit, I do miss the lost-years. But I am also learning to embrace the today. And today God saw it fit to give me these half-grown tigers who still need the nurturing that this baby-loving mama knows how to give. God can be trusted. That’s the ultimate truth.
Enjoy your season, friend!
My favorite stage is when they are old enough to have personality till pre-teen.
When I taught I didn’t do below 2nd grade, but really liked 3rd and up.
I love babies up to the age of 2, after that, I don’t thrive again until they are closer to 10-12.
And because of this post, I now have to follow you religiously! 🙂 So far I’ve enjoyed every stage, but we aren’t very far into this whole parenting thing yet. We’ll see how it goes. I taught every grade PreK-6, but preK-2 were my favorite. Third and fourth weren’t bad, but I’m not sure what I’m going to do with mouthy 5th/6th graders or beyond! HA!
I’m discovering that the baby stage is not for me either. And I’m trying to be okay with that.
Right there with you – (no surprise!) 5th grade was the lowest I taught… Definitely couldn’t handle all the nose-blowing and shoe-tying that took place in the primary wing 😉
I am a huge baby person but know others that are not. We all love our kids the same though- I know!