1. I can’t even put into words how much this post just blessed me! Thank you for speaking the truth!!!
    I’m saving this for when that “small still voice” comes in my head. As I’ll hear Gods voice and the voices of my fellow sisters in Christ!
    Greetings from 2023!

  2. Thank you for this. I really needed to read a truth filled write up about marriage and aligning it with Gods love.

  3. wow. love this and am grateful. God is always on time and intentional

  4. Sphindile says:

    Thank you so much for this I really needed to hear this and this has just injected some hope in my presently hopeless marriage …thanks once again ????

  5. Aleacia Spann says:

    Thank you for this post. God is always on time. God is definitely using you to reach others.

  6. Kathy Ann Gomez says:

    Ms. Pratt..thank u for this truth you’ve revealed in your writing. My husband & I are separated as a result of me following the small still voice. The marriage has been difficult for my spouse I unsaved and treats me & our children with neglect. I could not bear it & asked him to leave. I know that I did not bear scripture as in Corinthians when I have in. Once more the truth that marriage is to make us holy not happy echoes in your writing. Sorrowful & regretful by my actions.

  7. Thank you for being so bold and speaking the truth even though it may not be popular! I know God placed this on my Pinterest feed for me to read today. I love how He takes care of me and gives me what I need even when I don’t know it.

  8. This blog post is the most truthful and realistic I’ve ever read. Marriage is beautiful but so tough. My husband and I have been to the very brink of divorce but God has redeemed and healed us. Some days are still hard but we are almost to our 6th anniversary. Following our emotions and “inner voice” is dangerous in any area of life and particularly our marriages. Cling to God’s truth always. He knows best. Thank you for writing such a great piece!!

  9. Thank you very much for this post! I only saw it now on the Facebook page of Faithit. What I really love and appreciate is your words:

    “Her words sound a little bit like hope, you know. Listening to the voice inside of you and living your truth. Prioritizing your own peace above all else. Being true to yourself. It all sounds pretty good. It sounds like freedom. It sounds like hope.”

    Lately there is so much emphasis on “finding your true self”, “being authentic”, “being true to yourself” and on and on. I’ve been battling with this whole teaching or believe and could never catch on to it. Something was always missing! Then I realized (and your writing confirmed) that our true self, our authenticity, our small voice are all based on our identity in Christ and not on ourselves. If I want to “find” myself, I must find myself in Christ. If I want to be “true to myself”, I must be true to God’s Word. If I want to live authentically, I must live for Christ.

    Thank you once again for being bold enough to write this blog (I’m sure you also received a lot of negative feedback). The time is now that Christians stand up for the truth of God’s word and not conform to the world’s way of doing and thinking.

    Be blessed.

  10. I don’t know about the christian blogger who is separating. But I agree with the words here. You are brave and bold and wise I think.

    Only with God and learning to hear the holy spirit guiding us can we get through the very difficult marriages. I have been separated for a short time in the past from my husband but got through it and we worked through some very difficult dark days. I wrote a post that can hopefully provide hope for a woman in a difficult marriage…..


    We must fight very hard, even when the other person is not trying. Sometimes Divorce is the only option but it is definitely best to give it our all (with God’s help) first. Miracles can happen. God desires marriages to work. Satan works very hard to break them up though and we must all be prepared to fight through. Personally I think a lot of it is a spiritual battle. The book “Love Dare” is such a great resource for a partner wanting to make a marriage work but struggling. The movie “fireproof” (mentioned in comments below) introduces this book. I actually have done the 30 day love dare challenge and I can genuinely say it successfully helped me to find love and hope again in my marriage.

  11. I really needed to hear this today… thank you.

  12. Julie Pruitt says:

    So true, our marriages are a contract between God and us. When we come together, it is a union that can’t be broken. “So then, they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate.” Matt. 19:6 If we feel like our marriages are broken, then we’re seeing things through the world’s eyes. We’re saying we have to fix them and that puts the burden on us or our spouse. We’re forgetting the head of our union, God, and HIS love, forgiveness and hope that never changes or ends. When we forget and get lazy to extend those things to our beloved, then we get into trouble. We live with someone every day that struggles and hurts, hides and possibly deceives us and themselves. But the head of our marriage is a Rock, a Redeemer, a Rectifier, a Rebuilder, a Rewarder, Royalty. He’s the Lover of my soul. When we want our spouse to be those things for us, they will always come up short. They are NOT Jesus! Though we want them and ourselves to be LIKE Jesus, that doesn’t always happen when we want it to. We will always “…fall short of the glory of God.” BUT, we should never give up in trying and forgive like He has forgiven us. And not just with words, people can say it or extend it ten thousand times and not mean it or believe it. I’m talking about sacrificial forgiveness, the kind that puts the other person above your needs and comfort zone. Jesus did this on the cross, He set the bar for forgiveness. We can never be able to touch or understand the exact circumstances of His sacrifice. But His act of love on the cross has given us communion with God. God will not look away from us, He will never leave us nor forsake us. We are His and He is ours, nothing can separate us from His love. We’re forgiven, just as Jesus forgave those that tortured Him, we’re forgiven. So, we forgive also, we love the way He loves us, we don’t look away, we don’t leave nor forsake them. What He did was unfathomable to us, untouchable, impossible. Why would He love us like that? Because of His Father in heaven. Guess what, He’s our heavenly Father, too. How incredible is that? So if He’s OUR heavenly Father, He’s also OUR SPOUSES! Wow, do we forget that about our beloved? Yes, because we want them to change and be this for us and love us more! How petulant, how demanding, how childish. We need to remember to pray for them and understand that they belong to God first. Hello. Oh, I was so busy worrying and thinking about my needs and me and mine and what I want, that I forgot about who comes first. And it’s NOT me, it’s NOT my husband, it’s God. He says, “I Am.” He says, “I Am his heavenly Father, also.” Mic drop. Yes, Father. Forgive me, for I know not what I do.Your thoughts are not mine, I’m lost and don’t know anything. Yet, you STILL love me! And you love my beloved even more than I ever could. And it’s THAT love that means more, that fills in the gap where my love has failed him. Where his love has fallen short of what I needed. When we live in the love of Jesus first, we won’t have any lack. His perfect love is enough. In ALL things, in my marriage, life, motherhood, as a daughter, sister, friend, youth worker, and in the world. His love covers ALL. So, He is enough for me and my husband. We have been through the fire and 31 years together, ups, downs, good, bad, all of it and through all our changes, God has been with us, unchanging, unshakeable, unending. With Him as our foundation, how can we ever be broken? He is glorified.

  13. Great post. I think point #1 is worth another post in itself because it applies to more than just marriage and it is SO TRUE!!!!!

  14. Thank you for this post. Very thoughtful and encouraging! I know it has, and will continue to, touch many lives and bring hope to many, including me!

  15. Thank you for your post! That follow your heart, truth, gut, whatever stuff is society speaking to us. I found that out when my Christian therapist and very Christian sister told me that I should divorce my husband. My DH even told me he would not stop drinking with his friends, having emotional relationships with women and was not leaving the house. We had about 10 good years of marriage, then about 15 yrs of misery and pain. And it wasn’t the mentally and physically handicapped child, nor the yrs where we dealt with her cancer and DH’s cancer, but our own beliefs and actions that caused us to grow apart. Truth is my marriage did feel abusive mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I finally decided to put the work into this marriage as opposed to trying to work on everything after a divorce. After 3 yrs of getting help from others and Scripture, searching for God’s help and quite a bit of praying, I found more and more hope for our marriage. God showed me that I should
    be loving DH like our handicapped DD, expecting absolutely nothing in
    return from him, but all I needed from God. 3 nights out of 7 when he comes home right after work, DH is greeted with a faith-filled, committed, contented, loving and appreciative wife. I can’t wait to see what other miracles God creates in my heart and life! Follow God’s heart!!

    1. Oh goodness. Reading the original post and your comment gives me hope. Your situation sounds similar to mine. Thanks for an encouraging post.

  16. Thank you for sharing Biblical truth! I fear too many Christians have neglected to go to scripture for answers/direction and fall to what our culture says instead.

  17. All I can say is Amen! Thank you for this awesome post full of truth!

  18. Hi Kayse,
    As I read your post I wanted to grab a marker and write Corinthians 13 right up on the half finished wall my husband and I are currently arguing about. I am wondering if you could please point me towards the scripture passages you mention about abuse? My friends tell me this is abuse, even if he doesn’t physically harm me, I would love to hear God’s word?
    Yours in hope

  19. Girl. I know what blog you are talking about from last week. And I wanted to pull my hair out too. NOT truth. THIS, YOUR WORDS…..That is TRUTH! Thank you for writing this!!!

  20. Kayse those are words of wisdom!! Thanks for addressing this issue. As an older wife and mother I have seen ‘alot’ in my years…ups and downs but all along we have had “till death do us part” and there are three in our marriage with God as #1. Marriage is difficult at times. It is not 50 – 50 but it is actually 100 – 100. You need to be ALL IN. Not one foot in…ALL in heart. Heart mind and soul in. God Bless you and your ministry. I’m praying it speaks to many women.

  21. Thank you for this – it’s beautifully written and complete truth. I grieve over the current Christian culture that points us to ourselves and reading that blog post (on the other blog) saddened me in so many ways.

    1. Thank you, Rose. I’m grieving right along with you. Please feel free to share this post with anyone who needs encouragement. My prayer is that more will start speaking out & proclaiming the true gospel, and not the watered-down half-truths that are so popular today.

  22. Lindsay B says:

    Yes. So much yes. In the midst of the difficulties of my marriage, I started realizing that the “small voices” speaking to me in my head were speaking LIES. Not truth. I knew I couldn’t change this just by trying. I began to ask God to change the person I was. To change my heart. I couldn’t do a blessed thing to make myself do the right thing. Unbelievably…incredibly, He did. He made me think different thoughts. RIGHT thoughts. I began to want to do the right things….to have the right priorities. I began to FEEL differently, and the Voice I now hear in my head speaks the truth. I still have to weed out the lies, but they sound different somehow…more easily recognizable. One of my favorites things to hear my husband say recently, is that he loves the person I AM BECOMING. I am so grateful that God is putting the right thoughts in me, and has saved me from listening to myself.

    1. “I couldn’t do a blessed thing to make myself do the right thing.” YES. I so get this. Thank you for sharing!!

  23. God’s timing is always perfect. You had to pour over this for days because I needed this TODAY. Thank you for your obedience to Him.

    1. Praying for you today – wherever you are and for whatever reason you needed to hear this reminder. I hope you are encouraged and drawn to the Father!

  24. I love this post so, so much. Sometimes divorce is inevitable, but if we seek God instead of ourselves, our choices will be different from what the world tells us to do.

    Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path. ~ Psalm 119:105 (NLT)

    1. Thank you! <3 Yes, the Lord's leading and the world's advice are vastly different.

  25. MotherLydia says:

    Thank you for the post. Reading that… I was thinking the same stuff you are saying here.

    My husband and I have gone through hard stuff this year. I hope it is done, but I fear it is not. We haven’t finished learning all we need to learn. I have learned a little more of the love God must have for sinful me, that He doesn’t give up on me even when I am hard-hearted and does not seem to do His will. At how that can be. And I have tried to open up and see others not-my-husband and not-my-kids through the same eyes. I have not quite figured out how to do that. But I can at least start to see how it is possible.

    And there were scary days when I could even think and understand why some give up on marriage/decide it will be easier if they did not have to depend on each other anymore. But I clung and cling to what God says in the Scripture and sometimes, He gives me insight like the above. I don’t know if I’d say it is “worth it” — the pain still hurts. (part of why I’m not sure we are actually out of the bad time) But it is valuable and I know in God’s time it will be worth it. And I have to be okay with that.

    1. I wish I could just give you a hug. Those hard years are painful and heart-wrenching. We still have days like that, but they are fewer and farther between. Praying that your good days begin to outnumber your bad ones, and that you continue to rely on Scripture as the Lord restores your marriage!

  26. I love this article. The truth is that relationships take work. That often means learning how to be vulnerable at our core and letting go of pride.Learning to trust and be trusted to share in your partners everything. It means creating an environment of love and of complete understanding. That means communication. I have been married for almost 26 years. I got married on my 19th birthday. We basically grew up together as adults. In a world were we see individuals needs, wants and desires at the forefront it is hard to put that on hold and put God and your togetherness first. Communication and a desire for more can make a difference. But how do you really communicate? If you looked into your relationship usually it comes down to communication. Not being heard, valued, validated, appreciated, and loved. . That is really a skill that can be learned. Make no mistake about it. I teach couples how to communicate and re-connect ..First with themselves and most of all with each other. God is a God of love but if we shut out the lessons he tries to teach us aren’t we really shutting him out and all he has to offer. You are worthy of love and worthy of being loved from and by God and a partner. But open your heart and hear this it can be better if you allow for it.But that means letting go of all the …..fill in the blanks you are holding on to. Ask yourself why do I hold back? And most of all who are you really hurting when you hold back?

    1. Thank you for sharing! Marriage certainly does require hard work. More than I think any of us ever expected!

  27. Well said. I had read the same blog post and was left not knowing what to think. (Thinking something really bad must have happened in her marriage.) I was in an abusive marriage and have first hand see how God redeems and can do the same for anyone. Thank you for posting.

    1. Thank you for sharing, Kate. I’m praying for your marriage today, and so glad to hear how God has redeemed it! Thank you!

  28. My husband and I just celebrated our 6 year anniversary, we were days from signing our divorce papers 4.5 years ago but instead we pushed into Jesus and here we are. The days are still hard, and I can’t say we are in our great years yet, but we will not give up. thank you for this!!

    1. What a miracle story – I’m so grateful that you shared! Praying for you both today, that God would continue His work in you both. <3

  29. Thank you for posting the TRUTH! The Truth is we need Jesus and He is everything we need. This is a great article full of Biblical truths. I sincerely appreciate it.

    1. Thank you, Cassandra! My hope was just that – to communicate truth. Feel free to share it with anyone who might need some encouragement in their marriage!

  30. Thank you Kayse for this word of truth. Me and my husband just celebrated 6 years of marriage on July 31, 2016 and I’m shocked and amazed to see that we made it this long. Our marriage has not been easy but it was God that pulled us through. It is still challenging because of that still small voice in my head telling me that it’s not going to work and that I should just leave but I put my trust in God and I know everything is alright.

    1. Praying for your marriage today! And praising God for His faithfulness to you and your husband.

  31. Thank.you.for.this. I needed this message, and I needed this delivery. It’s like God himself was speaking to me 🙂 Thank you for writing with such truth, and thank you for having the courage to go deep and write about a tough subject.

  32. Thank you so much for sharing truth, Kayse! I so much appreciate your admonition to check everything with Scripture, and the encouragement to look to Jesus!

  33. Shawna R. says:

    Amen! Amen! Amen! God is so much bigger, better and stronger than any well written excuse we can give. At the end of the day-our Pinterest followers, blog followers, instagram followers and facebook followers may believe it-but does God? Thank you for “meat of the Word” today!

  34. Thank you for writing this.

  35. Keep communicating the Truth, Kayse. The average American Christian today, including myself if/when I’m not diligent, believes such a watered-down version of truth. A truth that doesn’t depend on trusting Scripture, of believing in things unseen, or of doing hard things. And I’m not putting any judgement on the writer of the blog that you referenced; I just think, as you said, that we need to be careful what we listen to and read and accept as truth. Proverbs 2 describes searching for real Truth as you would search for hidden treasure. The Amplified Bible says in Proverbs 2:2 that we should be “applying all your powers to the quest of it.” I was challenged in reading this Scripture today to not take this world’s version of truth as fact, but to search the Word of God for the purist Truth that can be found. Your blog post reiterated this for me today.

    1. Yes, this is something I’m always working on! Running everything through Scripture, finding what the Bible actually says. I believed a lot of watered-down things for a very long time. But God’s made truth so plain for us. I’m so grateful for His unchanging word.

  36. Thank you for writing this. I’ve been married 23 years. A good majority of those years haven’t been easy. In fact, about 10-12 of those years were kind of awful. I learned to find my happiness in Jesus, not in a person. I will also say, I’m so glad I stuck it out because the last 4-5 years has been pretty great in so many ways. Contrary to what is popular, the purpose of marriage is not to make you happy. It is to make you holy. Thanks for writing this! I too am frustrated by the whole “find your own truth” and “trust your inner voice” stuff coming from Christian leaders. I always encourage women to use Scripture as their plumb-line otherwise it is way too easy to get off kilter!

    1. I love that quote from Gary Thomas, about marriage making you holy, not happy! It’s so spot on. Thank you for your kind comment, friend!

    1. <3 Thank you for that encouragement! That was my hope.

    1. <3 <3 Thank you. I pray it makes a difference for someone!

  37. Kayse,
    Thank you for writing this. I know it was hard! But you speak truth. And truth is what we need, not something that sounds nice and makes us feel good. And not something that gives us the false notion that the sin we are about to commit is right and God approves and it’s all good because we feel heroic about it.
    I pray others aren’t led astray by her lies.

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