You’re more in charge than you think. 😉
“Mom, what’s that on the fridge?”
My kids came downstairs a few weeks ago to find a couple brand new chore charts…laminated, of course!…and an hourly schedule on the fridge.
It’s safe to say my free-time-loving children were a little…wary.
But things had gotten a little out of control lately – I’d become lax on our routines, and the kids were taking full advantage of it. I may or may not have blown a gasket when I was asked for iPad time at 7:30 in the morning.
In. The. MORNING.
Chaos had descended upon our home, and while I could have yelled, I did instead what any momma would do.
I made new chore charts.
We sat down to look at the chore charts together – ones that detailed what must be done BEFORE any free time, and then detailed exactly what free time could consist of – and gave ourselves a fresh start.
A fresh start was REALLY what we needed.
I needed a new system that worked for both the kids AND for me.
And the kids needed a new system with clearer boundaries and simple expectations.
We left the table and Emily said to me, “We change up our schedule a lot, don’t we?”
And I said, “YEP! When things aren’t working, we get to make them better! Isn’t that cool?”
And she agreed.
(It’s possible she agreed because she’s excited about getting paid to do chores using this new system, but who cares – my pre-teen AGREED WITH ME!)
My hope is that as we continue to change things up in our home, my kids are learning how to assess what’s working and what’s not, and embrace their ability to come up with new ideas.
Let’s be honest – I’m still learning this lesson, too.
Even as adults we can EASILY feel like we are victims of our situation. The kids are crazy. The house is a disaster. The plan doesn’t work.
But the truth is, we aren’t victims.
We’re much more in charge than we think.
Kids a little crazy? Take charge and put that new chore chart in place. (Also, bribery works.)
House needing some attention? Take charge and tackle one small project at a time. It all adds up!
Plan not working? Take charge and make a new one!!
This is me, reminding you that it’s okay to pause and reflect on how things are going RIGHT NOW, and make some changes, if needed.
In fact, it’s more than okay – it’s GREAT!!!
Shifting the plan isn’t only reserved for January 1st, or the time in between seasons. It’s also for a regular Monday (or, for me, a Thursday) when you realize the current plan isn’t working and you have license to change it.
Here are three steps I take when I realize the plan needs changing:
- REFLECT: What is the biggest pain point right now? What do my family and I really NEED in the next few months?
- REFRESH MY COMMITTMENTS: Everything goes back on the table. What MUST stay? What COULD go?
- REFRESH MY TIME: My current schedule goes back on the table. How can I structure my days differently to accomplish what’s most important in this season?
How’s life going for you and your family right now? Does something need to change? That’s OKAY!! Life is full of changes, and you can navigate them with confidence, knowing that God has given you wisdom and discernment to make good choices for your family. Even if that means saying no to something you said yes to a month ago.
There is no perfect plan, and no perfect planner. Instead, all we can do is take the time to reflect on what is and isn’t going well at any given time, and refresh the plan accordingly.
You can do this. You’re more in charge than you think!
Come on over to the blog and share with us ONE thing you’re going to take charge of this week. I can’t wait to hear your new plan!!
In this together, Kayse
Kayse Pratt serves Christian women as a writer + designer, creating home + life management resources that help those women plan their days around what matters most. She’s created the most unique planner on the market, helped over 400 women create custom home management plans, and works with hundreds of women each month inside her membership, teaching them how to plan their days around what matters most. When she’s not designing printables or writing essays, you’ll find Kayse homeschooling her kids, reading a cheesy novel with a giant cup of tea in hand, or watching an old show from the 90’s with her husband, who is her very best friend.
It’s funny that you’re posting this this week as this is a Holy Week for us and we’re having more rest and play time than usual. After that we’re going to make some changes to our studies and really hone in on Bible and what it means to believe in Yeshua and follow Him and to live out His character. We’re also going to begin a THM curriculum to focus on what it means to eat and live in a healthy way. We’ll be making adjustments to our general schedule as we go.
What an awesome reminder. This was just the encouragement I needed on this Monday. I’m curious to know what chores you hand over to your kids, and how you know what they are ready to be responsible for? That maybe sounds like a crazy question, but I often have the sneaking suspicion that my expectations are too low, yet I talk myself into thinking my expectations are too high when my kids protest or grumble. How much time per week would you say that your kids spend working on their chores?
My kids spend about 45 minutes to an hour a day on chores – keep in mind we homeschool right now, so they definitely have the time. This will change a bit during the school year as they are returning to traditional school. Right now, they do the dishes, put the dishes away, feed and water the dog, practice piano, get some exercise in, read, and during the summer they do one fun math sheet. All of this has to be done before any screens turn on. In addition to those things, we focus on one area of the house about once a week right now, and they help me with that (for example, floors, bathrooms, etc.) – we all work together during that time. They also do their own laundry beginning to end, and help me make dinner one night a week, so they can learn how to make that meal. They still love helping in the kitchen though, so I don’t think that feels like a chore to them. The dishes and laundry definitely do, though!
Thanks for the encouragment (AKA kick in the bum!) to refresh.
I plan, Lord willing, to complete the first draft of Your Anchored Home for my business/ministry (biznistry) routines. It’s been half done for about 3 months and now is the week to finish it…plus, it’s a sunny day and starting to hint that it may be getting warmer out for Spring!!
🌿 M 🐟
I’ve just started a full-time job. I’ve asked my family to put their dishes in the dishwasher. Before they only had to get them off the table and on the counter. Now I need to find or make a clean/dirty sign for the dishwasher.
Remember it is not bribery, but an incentive, if you get the kids to do the desired activity first and then provide the reward. 🙂
Great point!!
Great insight for today! I’m sharing what has worked best for me. I work in 90 day chunks. I ‘attempt’ to implement new schedules, tools into the 90 days and then assess what’s working and what’s not and the make adjustments attempting to tweak it and not burn it down. Love the chore charts and laminating, a favorite of mine.
YES to 90 day chunks!!! We love to plan in quarterly “seasons”. It really helps zoom in that focus!
Hi Kayse,
I am going to finally get a chore plan using the chore lists you created for my daughter. I am also going to laminate it so she can clearly see what she needs to do.
Shannon
Yes!! Love that!! Let me know how it goes!