1. Reading this was such a punch in the gut because 10 years ago, my dad got the same diagnosis. Stage 4 pancreatic cancer – already spreading. Roughly 6 months to live.

    Cancer is terrible. It is scary, and I don’t care if it is Stage 1 or the smallest tumor imaginable. My heart breaks, my stomach lurches, my anxiety goes ballistic anytime the “c” word is mentioned. Pancreatic cancer is one of the cruelest – because like you said, there is virtually nothing you can do by the time it is discovered except chemo for pain management. So you are immediately robbed of hope, of a plan, of a solution that you are so desperately needing a doctor to say. It’s just not there.

    I got 10 months…..much longer than you did.

    Thank you again for braving this journey and letting us in to your story. I am literally across the country in Indiana, but somehow I feel our paths have crossed.

  2. As the 5 year anniversary of my Mom’s first time in the hospital was this last Thursday and the count down of her last 44 days began again my heart breaks with your story. Unlike you I knew when it started that it was going to be a VERY BAD year for our family. My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer and was willing to fight any way she could. I was blessed to spend almost all of her last 44 days with her and to help take care of her. As I read your story and think of my own it brings water from my eyes. God always has a plan, it doesn’t always match of with mine and that is where I struggle. I have seen things happen because of her death that wouldn’t have happened if he has cured her as I would have liked….

  3. I can relate. This is the thing that happens to “other” people. Not a healthy, active and much loved mom. I went thru the same thing 15 years ago. After an umpteenth visit to her hospital room, it occurred to me on the drive home that day there would come a time when there would be no place on earth that she would be. No hospital, no relative’s house, etc., just physically gone. God has been a good comforter. I would love to have my mom back so she could see her grandkids, me, etc. but I can say this experience drew me nearer to God in a most magnetic, life sustaining way that would probably never have happened without her loss. It is more than a comfort to know we will all be together again one day. I did not realize you went through this as well. Many of my friends still have their moms and I always want to tell them to please enjoy this gift! Thank you for sharing your journey. As Jacqueline Kennedy once said upon the death of her husband John F., Kennedy, “When the unthinkable happens, you are permanently changed”. True.

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