Who were you, before you were “Mom”?
I was walking through Office Depot about a month ago, waiting for them to bind the newest version of my planner, and I stopped when I came to the section full of index cards.
They had a few shelves dedicated to those index cards that are spiral bound – a bunch of cards all together. And I had a flashback to college.
When it was just me, all by myself, before kids or a husband or even a boyfriend, I had a lot of time to read the Bible. And one of my favorite things to do was write down special verses in a tiny index card book. I’d carry those cards around with me in my purse, and when I was scared or tired or just a little down, I’d get out my Bible verses and flip through God’s Word. I loved those books of verses, and my faith grew so much during that time.
I can’t remember the last time I wrote down a Bible verse on an index card.
I’ve been thinking about it all month, and I’m realizing that in the throes of wifely responsibilities and motherhood and simply being a busy grown up with lists to accomplish and bills to pay, I have forgotten who I am a little bit.
In some ways, that’s a good thing. I’m not primarily concerned with myself & my own interests anymore, and I don’t go on donut runs at 1am anymore. Woot.
But in some ways, I have let some important things slip away.
I am a wife and a mom and I love those titles. I love that the Lord has allowed me to be both of those things. But I’m also just me. I’m His daughter. I’m a slow, deep thinker. I’m a writer. I love index cards and journals and new pens. I value relationships and stories and good conversation. I like loud music and car dancing.
I am a wife and a mom, but I’m learning that it’s okay to still be me. The things I’ve always loved are still things I love. And being a wife and a mom doesn’t mean I’m only ever a wife and a mom.
I think it’s so easy for us moms to become so consumed by all we feel we have to do, that we forget how to enjoy our lives. We forget that it’s still okay to be ourselves – not the Pinterest-perfect, cookie-cutter version of the mom everyone expects us to be. Just us. Just as we are.
We don’t realize that it’s not only okay to be ourselves, our husband and kids actually NEED us to be ourselves!
I went back and bought a couple of those index card books. (Alright, I bought four of them, in all the colors, as is my style.) I’m going to write my most special verses in them, and carry them around in my purse. Just like I used to.
And you know what? I bought one for Emmy too, and she was SO EXCITED about that little pink book. We sat down together, and chose some verses to write in there. She spent two straight hours copying Scripture into her little Bible verse book that day with our favorite colorful pens. She was thrilled.
See, I think God made my girl to love index cards and special pens and His Word, just like her momma. And I want her to learn who she is in light of who He has made her to be, not who anyone else says she is.
Mommas, If God created you to love something, I don’t think He ever intended for you to abandon that love once you became a mom. Instead, I think He will use our loves, our strengths, to shape our children’s lives.
So, I want to know.
Who are YOU, momma? What did you used to love? What do you still love? What’s something you might want to pick up again, to bless your own life and the lives of those around you?
Tell me in the comments below!
Kayse is a wife, mom, and founder of the Anchored Women community. She writes to help women fight busy, find rest, and build a life that’s anchored in Christ. Kayse is also the creator of the S.O.S. Planner, the Anchored Life Kit, and other practical resources that equip women to manage their homes and families in confidence. You can find her writing and her resources at anchored-women.com!
Honestly enjoying this blog post, whatever its is after you were mom you have huge responsibilities on nurture your child. Anyways thanks a lot for sharing this blog post.
My loves are just any form of creating things. My seven yr old is severely autistic and ive had babies three more times since then so its been difficult. Reading this has kinda sparked an idea though that in the meantime i can make a book of projects and write out step by step directions as eell as huge list of writing prompts until my son who has autism goes back to school. Also if i keep my art supplies in a tote or crate in babys room i can keep my favorite supplies in that as we have safety locks where id put it. Maybe this idea can help someone else
I have always loved reading. A few years back, as my 5 homeschooled kiddos got a little older, I decide to begin “summer reading” for myself! I love it and look forward to it! The books I have chosen have ranged from practical (Cleaning House, Twelve Steps to an Organized Life), to spiritual (Kisses for Katie, Not a Fan), to just-want-to-know-what-the-high school-assigned-my-daughter (Grapes of Wrath, The Glass Castle)!
I agree we have to be ourselves because it is easy to become lost in being a mom. Blogging is allowing me to use my talents after leaving my challenging career.
I took out my guitar out of the closet and got it tuned! I haven’t played with it for years. But I’ve been itching to do some of those things that I use to do, especially before becoming a mom. Thank you for the encouragement.
I have recently become mother to five children, four bio children and one adoptive child. I’ve been a mom for ten years and feel like I’m constantly fighting the battle to ‘find’ myself again. I wouldn’t change this life God has given me but at the same time I think it’s so important to make sure that our interests and passions arnt completely put on the back burner.
Growing up as a child I lived with my mother and older sister. My mom grew a beautiful garden to help provide for us and cover the costs of raising us on our own. I have always fantasized about growing a garden as big and lush as my mother’s. Every year I attempted to start a garden, along came another blessing from the Lord and my efforts and garden would shrivel up and fade away. Well not this year! …..we won’t be having anymore babies any time soon. I am so excited to watch my BIG garden come into fruition and have the kids be apart of the process.
I am starting to notice that another thing that I tend to put on the back burner is my time with God. I know right! I absolutely loved your scripture pocket book idea! I went to Walmart at 10:30 last night to pick out my new book and some tabs for organizational purposes! I love this idea so much that I want to make one for my two girlfriends as a gift. My question for you is, how do YOU set up and organize your scriptures? Do you organize them by their books in the bible or by category like scriptures on marriage or anger….
Thanks for your continued encouragement ♡
I have always enjoyed crafts so recently took up crochet again. It’s been a great way for me to relax in the evenings once the children are in bed. Hard to ignore the mess at times though and not sure I’ll be able to continue once the baby arrives. Here’s to making the most of every moment. ?
I find this slightly amazing to hear that even YOU still struggle with this. With your business and blogging, wild love for planners, it seems to me, an outsider, that you would totally know who you are. I didn’t realize how wide spread the problem was. I assumed it was just me!
I have been mom for nearly 20 years and homeschool teacher to my 3 kids for 11 years. On the way, I have done what everyone tells you not to do…I have lost who I am as an idividual and as a wife and mother. My life is changing as this is my last year to actively teach my youngest before our homeschooling is outsourced to a fantastic program in our area. This will leave me with a considerable amount of time that I have not had for years. I am in need of rediscovering and reinventing myself. This prospect is daunting and a bit scary. Kayse is right, don’t lose yourself to your parenting.
I helped lead worship at church before I got so pregnant I couldn’t breathe deeply enough to hold out the notes. Then, after DD was born, I just didn’t made it a priority to go back. Now that she’s 3, I’m finally getting back into it, and I can’t tell you how much I had missed it! DD plays around the piano while I practice and learns & sings all the songs right along with me. Listening to her sweet voice singing “Love Lifted Me” and “Chainbreaker” while she plays with her princesses is about the best thing ever. 🙂
Before the kids I was a lover of learning and I loved to dance (swing, tango, club, you name it). In my best moments I really share that love of learning with the kids – there are certainly lots of opportunities! I miss the dancing though. I can’t remember the last time I shared that with my children. I should put on some music and have a dance party with them. I don’t know why I never do.
I needed this! So many times we disappear completely in the role of MOM. We have to work hard to come out of the fog and be “just me” sometimes but I think once we do everyone will be better for it! I am currently working on doing just that…God gave me a love for digging in the dirt and raising animals and I have always stuck that love on the back burner so I can focus on my kids and my job and keeping the house clean in between. Its time to grab some bits of time here and there and just thoroughly enjoy farming…even if it is just a snippet here and there. Perhaps one day I can make it my full time job and be able to spend more time with the kiddos all at the same time, but for now, I will enjoy my little pieces of me. 🙂