The one parenting rule I always break.
Yesterday, I went on Facebook and asked moms to share their “Mom Confessions” for the week – you know, the stuff we do that we don’t want everyone knowing about. Like driving through Chick Fil A for dinner three nights in a row.
Answers ranged from frozen pizza for dinner to secretly trading their kid’s CFA toy for an ice cream cone and eating it (which I found GENIUS!), but one common thread among the confessions was this: “My kid had too much screentime this week.”
I totally get it. We hear all over the place that you shouldn’t let kids watch TV or play on a screen until they are at least 2. Or is it 25? I can’t remember, because we implement a different strategy in our house.
In our house, I actually take the opposite approach. I don’t really worry about screentime in my toddlers and preschoolers.
I’ll give you a second to gasp in horror.
I know. I KNOW. But hear me out.
I’m not talking about giving the kid an iPad when they wake up & taking it away when it’s time for bed. OBVIOUSLY. What I’m talking about is SANITY. Sanity and common sense.
Call me crazy, but there are a few occasions throughout the week when I desperately need silence. Usually this is when I’m finishing up some work (a necessity), or when I’m out to dinner with my husband and the kids are tagging along (a rare luxury).
During these times, I have a choice. I can fill my bag (or the kitchen table) with toys, crayons, trucks, books, and snacks, all of which will hold my child’s attention for about 3.5 seconds and then end up on the floor, OR I can let them play an educational, age-appropriate game, or watch a faith-based show on my phone for 20 minutes.
Guess what I usually do?
Here’s the thing – very few things hold my three year old’s attention for longer than 5 minutes. Is this because I let him play on the iPad every now and then? Maybe.
But also, maybe it’s because he’s three.
My strategy does change around three-and-a-half or four-years-old. By that point, my kid is starting to actually enjoy coloring, or engaging in independent imaginary play for more than a few seconds. I can pack my bag with a few coloring supplies and a couple of action figures (or ponies), and we’re good to go.
By five-years-old, they are starting to read & draw actual things that are not scribbles, and we can bring books and notebooks everywhere we go, and LIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER FOR EVERYONE. At this point, my child is mature enough to engage in a creative activity, and mom (or mom and dad) still get the much-needed 20 minutes of silence. At that age & maturity level, a screen is no longer an option for them.
So, here’s our screentime strategy in a nutshell: I let my kids watch TV and play on an iPad during the ages when all the rules warn against this. And then, when they get to the age where screens become “acceptable”, I take them away.
Is this totally the opposite of what we’re “supposed”to be doing? Yes, yes it is. But I use my own God-given common sense, and I monitor how long they are allowed on those screens, or watching TV, and I choose games and shows that are educational or faith-based.
And guess what? My kids are healthy, happy and JUST FINE. They are creative, engaging, and very, very talkative. (See what I mean?) And Mommy is sane.
I believe this is what’s called a “Win-Win”.
So, to all my rule-breaking momma friends out there – take a deep breath & relax. When you’re the mom, YOU get to make the rules.
What “rules” do you break as a mom?
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Kayse Pratt serves Christian women as a writer + designer, creating home + life management resources that help those women plan their days around what matters most. She’s created the most unique planner on the market, helped over 400 women create custom home management plans, and works with hundreds of women each month inside her membership, teaching them how to plan their days around what matters most. When she’s not designing printables or writing essays, you’ll find Kayse homeschooling her kids, reading a cheesy novel with a giant cup of tea in hand, or watching an old show from the 90’s with her husband, who is her very best friend.
Yup. I am right there with you! The best way for me to get Bible study done every day, at this stage of life (with a 2.5-year-old and an almost-one-year-old) is for them to watch a “Jesus video” (Hide em In Your Heart, Psalty, or Veggie Tales are our favorites!) while I drink my coffee and do Bible study. We’re all together at the table, they’re usually eating their breakfast at the same time, and they’re learning Bible verses and praise songs. And I get to spend much-needed time in the Word. So, yes, it’s definitely a win-win for us too! And sometimes Thomas, Curious George, or Clifford help me out so I can get supper made in peace. 😉 There’s definitely a thing as “too much” screen time, and when it gets to that point it gets turned off. But I am thankful for the good uses of technology for sure!
I don’t limit my kids screen time. We don’t really do that as adults, so why do that to my kids? That said, they need balance in their lives just like adults do, and it’s my job to teach that to them. So there is no tv if they are acting like fools, if homework isn’t done or if they have chores that need to be done.
My boys are 19, 22, and 30. You guys are being so hard on yourself. I agree that children shouldn’t be glued to the television all day long but some times that is okay. Quit beating yourselves up because in the long run, what really matters is that your kids are loved, have (some) manners, respect others and have been disciplined so that when they walk into the room, people aren’t trying to leave the area. Yeah, I’m related to some of them that act like that and it makes get togethers very stressful. Because let me tell you, if your child isn’t disciplined and won’t listen to you at 5, they’re not going to listen to you when they’re 15. Love on your kids ALOT, give yourselves room for not being perfect, and remember that this too shall pass and before you know it, they’ll be grown : ) It happens way too fast.
I allow my 8 year old special needs child to play parking (car, bus, police car,etc) on am I pad with am app blocking everything else. He has to see me at all times, as long as he is close to me he will concentrate on the game.
I have a toddler and a newborn. When my husband stays a bit later at work, I make something simple for my toddler – like chicken nuggets. I put on his favorite show and place a towel on the floor, and he gets to have a ‘picnic’ dinner. Then I can nurse our newborn in peace, for at least 5 – 10 minutes. We are, after all, in triage mode at the moment!
My older kids are doing Reading Eggs on the computers and my three year old is watching Signing Time while I am enjoying a cup of coffee at 8 am. Book work part of school is going to have to wait until my cup is done!
Breakfast and cartoons in the living room, every morning, while I get my coffee and Jesus time in the kitchen, for the win.