How to plan when you’re in survival mode

I’m no stranger to survival mode.

We moved to Las Vegas in the middle of the pandemic (not planned, but surprise!), no job for my husband (more plans gone awry), and thrust into the homeschooling life. New city, new family situation, limited income, kids education fully on me. We simply survived for about 6 months straight.

Or let’s go all the way back to when, 3 weeks after Nathan was born, I ended up back in the hospital with a double pulmonary embolism that should have taken my life. From new mom to incapacitated mom – once I got home from the hospital, I couldn’t get up off the couch, much less feed, bathe, or hold my newborn or his older sister. Survival mode – that time for a full year.

You know I love planning just as much (if not more?!) than the next girl, but there are simply times in our lives when plans. don’t. work.

Life happens. Crises hit – sometimes more than one at a time! Family requires more help than you had assumed. Circumstances prevent you from your regular daily routine.

Sometimes you know survival mode is coming, and sometimes you’re blindsided by it.

In any case, that’s not the time to just keep swimming, friend. Survival mode requires a whole new kind of plan – one that takes your new situation into consideration. So today, I want to share a few tips with you for planning when you’re in survival mode.

Step 1 // Accept Reality.

Whatever the cause of your survival mode, you’ve gotta face the truth – you’re in it. And that means that your capacity is automatically limited. You can’t do as much as you normally could. You likely can’t even do as much as you think you should!

You have to start by taking an honest look at what’s going on, and figure out what your NEW capacity is in this season. It’s not going to look like any other season, and that’s okay. Accept reality and release your previously held expectations.

Remember: Usually, survival mode is just a season. You’re not necessarily walking away from projects or goals completely – you’re simply putting a pin in them while you tend to the more important things.

Step 2 // Name What’s Important Right Now.

Typically, you’re thrust into survival mode without anyone asking for your consent. And that usually means you didn’t have time to think about your priorities for this season ahead of time. [Obvious exceptions to this rule are 1) giving birth to a new baby, 2) making a big move, and 3) starting a new job.]

So take a little time here, after accepting what your new reality is, to name what’s MOST important in this new season. Maybe you were working on a big goal before tragedy hit. Now, that goal simply isn’t as important – instead you know you need to focus on your own mental and physical health, and your family relationships.

Priorities are going to shift in survival mode – often we are urgently motivated to just get back to the basics. The trick is reminding yourself that the basics are enough, and it’s perfectly okay – good even! – to do less when you’re just surviving. Often, for me this means switching up my planner layout to something a little more flexible.

Pro Tip: My favorite planner layouts to use when I’m in survival mode:

• The Classic Weekly // Everything I need for the day on half a page, room to jot down notes or a Bible verse, + space to keep a detailed schedule if I need it.
• The Weekly Dashboard // A simple weekly schedule with room for lots of lists, plus daily habits that will fill my cup.
• The Weekly or Daily Time Block // Time Blocking helps me a lot in survival mode – breaking my day up into chunks. Then, I only have to focus on the next few hours at a time, instead of getting through the whole day. This is especially helpful when I’M the one who is unable to do much – like after a baby, or when very sick.

Step 3 // Tackle The Basics + Call It Good.

The basics include clean clothes to wear, food on the table, and clean bodies each day. You know this, but you likely have a more sophisticated way of getting these things done on a regular day.

In survival mode we need to ask ourselves: “How can I make that easier?”

A few ideas for you:

• Use paper plates and plastic utensils // I know, I KNOW, the environment. But the earth will survive whether or not you use paper plates for a couple of weeks. It’s okay. And no dishes is a huge blessing to yourself.
• Send out your laundry or ask a friend/family member to help // If you can afford it, there are laundry services that will come pick up your laundry, clean it, and drop it back off. If that’s out of your price range (it’s out of mine!), ask a friend or family member to help. The key here is to ask someone who has NOT been affected by whatever has sent you into survival mode. You’d be surprised at how people WANT to tangibly help you when you’re going through something hard.
• Eat whatcha got // We have a whole instructional video on this right here, but the idea is that you simply eat what you have on hand in your fridge, freezer, and pantry. This is not the time for fancy meals. Soup works great. Pasta does too. Frozen veggies for the win!
• Grab pre-made meals from Costco or Sam’s Club // This is my go-to when life is hard. I head back to the deli section of Costco and pick up a few pre-made meals. They are delicious, often organic, and cheaper than eating at Chick Fil A every night. Our favorites are the street tacos, meatloaf and potatoes, and the Italian sausage bake. The ravioli lasagna is pretty good, too!
• Shower in the dark // I know it sounds slightly wacky (or maybe scary?), but hear me out. Showering in the dark is incredibly peaceful. Light a candle if you want, turn the water on as hot as you can take it, and enjoy the quiet. When you’re in survival mode, your nerves are almost ALWAYS on edge, and this is one simple way that you can use something you’re already doing as a way to fill your empty bucket just a little bit. Pro tip: turn on some instrumental music. (I’ve been doing this for years – I swear by it, and do it every single morning!)

Remember: it’s not that you’re slacking in these areas! You’re SIMPLIFYING them so that your attention and energy can go where they are more needed – likely to whatever threw you into survival mode in the first place.

Step 4 // Fill your mind with God’s Word.

Survival mode is so hard on us, physically, mentally, and emotionally. We desperately need the truth of Scripture to revive us each day.

The thing is, survival mode is the time when you’re MOST likely to ditch your Bible study, because so many other things are calling for your attention. But you don’t have to do an in-depth Bible study to enjoy the peace and wisdom of God’s Word! Instead, you can…

• Listen to Scripture as you’re getting ready for the day (I love the Dwell app!)
• Keep your Bible open to a Psalm on your kitchen counter, and read it whenever you walk by.
• Write an encouraging passage of Scripture on an index card and carry it with you.
• Create a wallpaper for your phone with an encouraging verse on it.
• Play scripture-based music (hymns are great!) in the background as you’re going through your day. (This new album from Ellie Holcomb is Psalms set to music and it’s amazing – this is usually what I listen to in the dark shower!)

It doesn’t have to be in-depth or complicated, just get His Word in your heart. You need it now more than ever.

Pro Tip: Take social media off your phone during this time. You don’t need everyone else’s noise when you’re already dealing with so much of your own. 💛

Step 5 // Find Something Joyful + Do It.

This one is the easiest steps to overlook, but I’m telling you – it’s absolutely vital. When you’re in survival mode, you NEED to find something that you really love, and make time for it. Again, it doesn’t have to be crazy or in depth – it can simply be taking a bath each night, spending 20 minutes reading each day, cuddling with your kids on the couch while you watch a show, having a cup of coffee with your husband.

Simple. Joyful. Life-giving. That’s what this needs to be. For the most part, when we’re in survival mode we are either limited in our own capacity OR seriously overextended in what we’re doing for others. In either case, your soul needs a boost. Find something that brings you joy and do it.

It’s not a waste of time, it’s reminding yourself that there’s joy in the world, even when life is hard.

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Here’s the truth – survival mode is the worst. It requires us to let go of our plans and hopes and expectations, and settle for a whole lot less.

But it can also…dare I say it?…be the best. Because it gives us a legit reason to slow down, to go back to the basics, and to really pay attention to only the most important things. Often, survival mode can act like a filter, keeping those big rocks right at the top while all the little, less important ones fall away.

Remember: Survival mode is only a season, and God promises not to leave you or forsake you. He’s with you every step of the way. Give yourself the grace to lower your standards, accept your limitations, and lean on the Lord to walk you through it.

Your Turn! Share in the comments below – what’s your BEST tip for walking through survival mode?