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Just Call Me Mrs. RIGHT :)

Marriage

I had this whole post typed out about how marriage is hard.  Good, but hard.

But it wasn’t very good.  Probably because I’m still in the hard part tonight.  So instead of insightful, I’ll just be honest and tell you what I’m thinking.
It is hard to be wrong.
Jon and I have had our share of “discussions” this weekend, if you know what I mean. 😉  And I have been faced with some harsh reality about the way I process things, the way I hold onto things, and what that does to my husband and our marriage.
Tonight my wonderful hubby kindly explained some things in a way I could understand.  And as I thought about his words, I realized that there are some things I am doing, things I have always done, that need to change.  Ouch.
I enjoy being right.  Maybe a little too much.  But that makes it so much harder when I’m wrong.  I really don’t like being wrong.
Humbling myself, accepting criticism and Godly challenge, these are things I do not excel at.  Jon will attest to this. 🙂  And when the time comes for God to refine me, as He faithfully does every now and again, you can usually find me death-gripping my right to be right in one hand and my “but God loves me the way I am” sign in the other.
The thing is, if I slow down enough to stop being defensive, I realize I want to be more than right.  I want to be holy.  For me, holy was easier when I was single and had only myself to answer to.  My life didn’t directly affect anyone else, and if someone hurt me {or disagreed with me}, I could continue to be polite, but maintain my distance.
That doesn’t work so well in marriage.  My life directly affects the life of another {now two others}.  When hurts arise, I cannot just maintain my safe distance anymore.  Things have to be dealt with.  Forgiveness has to be tangible, not just verbal.  Change has to be real.  Holy is hard.
But even in the hard, there is this sense of life.  This sense of God.  Because the hard is where He shines.  Where He reveals Himself.  Where He saves.
This dying to self stuff, it requires much of us.  It means I have to put down my right to be right and pick up my ability to be wrong.  Because the truth is that I am not any more perfect than my husband.
I guess all of that is just to say that I am learning.  And I find hope in the learning because it means that I am growing, and my marriage is getting better and better.  And I suppose I’m looking for a few friends who can relate. 😉
Just call me Mrs. RIGHT - KaysePratt.com
Has there been a time you sensed the Lord refining you through your marriage?  How has he used your spouse to make you more like Him?
 

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Comments

  1. Ouch, so me tonight. Literally. Thanks for sharing! I appreciate the time you put into posting this and your humility! 😀

    Reply

  2. Waaah! Talk about been right at all times and when you are wrong, the challenge and sweat it has to take me to not only accepting am wrong but admitting am wrong, to others. I am clay and God is the Potter. I know there are days I will want to run away from the blazing fire but that is the only way for me to be refined! Ouch!

    Love your blog!

    Reply

  3. Nobody commented on this one? That’s crazy.
    I find marriage refines me more than anything ever has. The hard moments refine my character. The blissful moments soften my heart. The “I-just-can’t-do-this,-Lord”-moments makes me stronger still, because they make me realise I NEED Him to be the best wife ever (or quite frankly, I need him just to be a half-way-decent one ;). I enjoy your blog!

    Reply

    • Your comment made me smile! Actually this post got a bunch of comments, but it was before I moved to this website, and the comments didn’t move with me. But I’m so glad you enjoyed it!!

      Reply

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