One Way You Can Change Your Marriage TODAY.
I posted this picture on Instagram last week, with a little confession…
See, Jon and I are both strong-willed, opinionated people. But we like to do things very differently. These characteristics lend themselves to lots of arguing. LOTS of arguing. And when we argue, we usually go into our room, so the kids don’t hear us.
(Like there’s anywhere we could go in our 900 square foot apartment and not be heard. But still.)
We are working on our communication, and trying very hard not to yell at each other as often as we’d like. We are studying God’s Word together and praying through our differences, and we are always, always, always working on our marriage.
So, when I saw this sign go up for sale a couple of weeks ago, I snagged it. I’ve been looking for pieces to decorate the walls in our bedroom, and I thought this was just perfect – a visual reminder for both of us when we start arguing.
WE LOVE BECAUSE HE FIRST LOVED US.
If Scripture can’t stop us in our tracks, nothing can, right? (And Scripture can. I promise!)
Oh friends, marriage is HARD. There are so many times when it’s absolutely wonderful, and I feel like, “Yes! This is it! This is what it was supposed to be like!” And then there are other times when I feel like, “Seriously? This is it? This is what it was supposed to be like?”
Jon would tell you the same.
We’ve got our issues. Like, generally, I think I’m right about most things. And generally he thinks he’s right about most things. This is where those strong wills come in.
I am learning, ever-so-slowly, that I cannot change my husband. Don’t get me wrong, he’s pretty great in his own right, but every now and then there’s one or two things I think he *might* be able to do differently. (And he thinks the same about me.)
I can’t change him though. It doesn’t work.
What I can change, however, is my own attitude. My response to him, the way I talk to him, the way I treat him, and how I act when things don’t go my way. THOSE are the things I have control over. THOSE are the things I have a choice about.
THOSE are the things I need to be working on & praying through.
And in the meantime, there’s one thing that I know would improve my marriage today. Do you know what that is?
Encouraging my husband.
Our men, they thrive on encouragement, whether they admit it or not. Reminding them that they are doing a good job, that they matter, and that we appreciate them – it all combines to embolden & strengthen them to be their very best.
And as we encourage our husbands, guess what? The way we see them changes as well. We begin to look for the good things, instead of the flaws. We are more grateful, more understanding.
And our marriages change for the better.
So let’s encourage our husbands…together.
If you want to take a step forward and start working on your marriage TODAY, I’d love to invite you to join me for the Encourage Your Husband Challenge! I’ve put together a two-week challenge for us to build up our husbands through encouragement, service, and Scripture.
Each day, you’ll get an email with a short challenge in it – something small but meaningful that you can do for your husband that day, along with a Scripture to encourage you as a wife. We’ll come together each day afterwards in our private Facebook group, and share things we’re learning, how our husbands are responding (if you feel comfortable), and just encourage one another as we encourage our husbands.
Plus, I’ve got a few fun freebies for you throughout the challenge. You’re going to LOVE them!
You can sign up for this totally free challenge here, or by clicking the button below. That way, I’ll know exactly where to send your challenge emails, and you’ll be able to start immediately!
Friends, marriage is hard, but our God is big. I hope you join us for this challenge, as we focus on what He says about our marriages & how we can encourage our husbands. Who knows? It might just be a turning point for you.
I’m praying for you all! Don’t forget to sign up HERE & get started today!
Are you in? Share the challenge with your friends!
Kayse Pratt serves Christian women as a writer + designer, creating home + life management resources that help those women plan their days around what matters most. She’s created the most unique planner on the market, helped over 400 women create custom home management plans, and works with hundreds of women each month inside her membership, teaching them how to plan their days around what matters most. When she’s not designing printables or writing essays, you’ll find Kayse homeschooling her kids, reading a cheesy novel with a giant cup of tea in hand, or watching an old show from the 90’s with her husband, who is her very best friend.
I struggle to keep on loving my husband while he is continuing to kill my love with his drinking.
I just came across it, and love it! So bummed it has already started! Is there a way to get the first half I missed??
It starts as soon as you sign up! You’ll get Day 1 immediately. 🙂
Thank you for this challenge! I struggle with encouraging my husband when I am too focused on the day-to-day and getting things done. I get into mom mode and wanting to check things off a list, and end up treating him more like another kid than the love of my life!
My struggle is that he is not taking care of himself and is not intentional for me.
Thank you for this challenge and giveaway!
One thing I struggle with in encouraging my husband is not knowing enough about the things he wants to pursue. I think if I could take some time to learn more about his interests, I would be better equipped to encourage him in more specific ways.
Thanks for all that you do.
I struggle with nagging more than I offer him praise. I always feel so awful!
Thanks for doing this. Looking forward to start.
I struggle to encourage my husband when he is angry. It’s easier to just walk away.
I struggle with never getting any affection, reaction in return! So frustrating!
Thanks! I’m looking forward to this. I struggle in general with this kind of thing…being intentional towards my husband. I didn’t grow up in a very outwardly affectionate home so I generally don’t even think about being affectionate, physically or with the things i say. Not that I don’t want to, it just rarely pops into my head to do it! So challenges like this are perfect for me. Thanks again!!! 🙂
I love this! I am always looking for ways to encourage my husband. He has been working so very hard for our little family (us and two fur-babies) and I want him to know how much he is appreciated and loved!
My hubby is a perfectionist with some OCD tendencies. Nothing is ever, ever good enough. He has returned the last 5 gifts I purchased for him because they were not quite the right color, or not the right brand, or something. The house is never clean enough, the car is never parked quite right in the driveway, dinner is never quite right, etc. It’s hard to be encouraging when you know that it won’t be good enough.
Perfect timing! We’re in a spot right now where we’re both focused on work (working long hours) and it doesn’t seem like much of a romance…stuck in a rut. Looking to get unstuck. 🙂
The thing I struggle most with is finding the time & energy to show/give my husband the love & encouragement he needs! We have a 6 year old daughter who is autistic & a 4 year son who is very high strung. My husband just finished the first part of his schooling & is starting his new (full time) job as an EMT on Monday. He is also still going to school to go on to become a Paramedic. I work part time & spend the rest of my time every day chauffeuring my husband & kids to & from work & school (our 2nd vehicle is broke down at the moment ?). We both stay so exhausted all the time that’s it’s really hard to put forth the effort on our marriage that we know we should. And with everything he has going on right now I know I need to show my husband encouragement now more than ever so I can’t wait to take this challenge to help show me how do just that!! ?
When I’m personally struggling, I tend to focus on the negative with him too instead of encouraging him.
My hubs is in the midst of his final deployment before retirement. He is SO done with that military, this time has been extremely difficult for us. I can’t wait to show love to him this month by offering encouragement to him!
I struggling with remembering to encourage him intentionally.
I love what Angela said. “Purposefully encourage instead of unintentionally discourage.” That’s why I’m here, too.
I struggle with seeing his need of me. He is so strong and capable, I often feel like he can handle everything and even handle it better than I can. He needs my help, though, and I am his partner, so I need to do the things that would lighten his load.
So excited for this challenge! I struggle with feeling like I don’t know meaningful ways to encourage him…what I think I’m doing to help sometimes just stresses him out more. (Really liked Kayse’s “3 Things” post on that!)
I struggle with not communicating my needs or feelings well but being angry or hurt at my hubby for not just “getting it”!
I struggle with not arguing even when I am right.
Making sure I remember that he may not actually “see” the laundry, etc. He may need a gentle reminder to help. He is a man!
I need to remember to encourage my husband. I’m always encouraging my children so why should he miss out?
Looks great. Just what I need at the moment 🙂
Thank you so much for doing this! I really need to do a better job at encouraging my husband. He does SO much for us, and I am generally too scatterbrained (with 5 little kids) to remember to thank him for everything. Probably where I fail and pain him the most, is when he is trying to help, and I try to suggest a better way to do it. His eyes dim and he asks: “do you want me to help or not?” I’m a perfectionist, so I generally have a set idea of how things should be done or the way they should look when finished. I need to hold my tongue and not worry about how things are being accomplished, but be thankful and encouraging to the one who loves me enough to work along side me.
I struggle most with making my compliments sound sincere. I really do man what i say but I feel it sounds forcedor fake. ?
I struggle with making him a priority and even some days with just being kind to him.
Compliments are my biggest struggle
My struggle is making him a priority with kids and house stuff taking up so much time and energy!
I struggle with know how to encourage and be encouraging when I don’t feel loved.
It is hard for me to encourage my husband when I am feeling rather incompetent right now.
I struggle with encouraging him bc I lean toward words which don’t seem to mean as much as action. But I don’t always know what to DO so words are easier. But if they don’t equal my actions, they fall flat and have an opposite effect.
I struggle letting him know that I appreciate his working, in a thankless job, in order to support our family. He is way over qualified for the job that he is doing but continues to work there because it is great money and benefits.
I love my husband to pieces and we would do anything for each other; however, that does not mean that we don’t argue and live gets in the way sometimes. So this is a great reminder. Thanks, Kayse!
My husband is very strong willed. Sometimes I can handle it but some days, I really lose it. I don’t deal well with being yelled at. I need to work on how I react to him.
Looking forward on being challenged to purposely encourage instead of unintentionally discourage him like I have been doing lately.
My biggest struggle is not feeling like I have anything left in the tank to give after a long day as a mom of 4 littles. I know hr NEEDS encouragement because he so stressed and drained with extremely long days at work, I just don’t have the energy or compassion to give.
Sooo excited to get help in this area! I love my husband but I definitely need to focus on him more and be intentional about encouraging him. Thank you for “hosting” such a wonderful challenge <3
We’ve been married for decades, and my husband is the most encouraging person I know. I come from a family of critics and know-it-alls. My biggest struggle is to give him my full attention several times a day – without criticizing what he said or did. This is a timely challenge. Thank you!
I spend too much time worrying about what I’m not getting from him and not enough time focusing on what he needs from me.
My biggest problem is that he does so much for us that he gets way overwhelmed and stressed, which isn’t good considering he has a heart condition. I need to do more for him and help him alleviate his stress.
The biggest struggle I have is not overloading him with the struggles of my day when he walks through the door. I need to listen to him first and let him decompress too.
So excited for this!
I think my biggest problem right now is I keep putting myself in front of him, thinking about what I need (probably more accurately want) instead of what he needs/wants. I need to get rid of the voice inside that whines “what about meeeee!”
I have that voice too!! 😉
My husband and I are in the throws of toddlerhood and have a newborn. It’s easy to put our relationship one back burner. So I’m excited about this!
I love this. I need practical! It’s easy to say and sometimes harder to do. Can’t wait ❤
What a great idea! Excited to start
I love this. After almost 20 years of marriage, we still fall into bad habits and need to check ourselves.
This will be a good reminder or how to appreciate each other again.
What a great idea! My husband and I will celebrate our 22 year anniversary this July. We’ve got an 18 year old in his first year of college – our first kid to leave us, a 17 year old junior who probably can’t wait to graduate and leave our nest, a 13 year old so very eager to start a new chapter of his life in high school next year, and an 11 year old 6th grader who’s starting to find his way. When you’ve been married for a while, I think it can be easy to just go through the motions, do your routine and forget to encourage and love on and just enjoy your sweetie. I look forward to following along with this challenge.
I’m excited to be given some fresh ways to encourage my husband. I’m an affirmation person, and my husband is not as much, so it’s challenging to find ways to genuinely encourage him without sounding cheesy or insincere to his ears. This will be fun!
I think the biggest challenge for me to encourage my husband, lift him up, is that he needs reassurance in doing things that I feel are basic and he should do anyways so the struggle that we have is lack of communication. 99% of our relationship, I was already pregnant, so our marriage from the beginning has been all around our son who is now 15 months old. Everything we do is around him so this Blog is fixing to dramatically help me! Once again, thank you so much Kayce.
I can’t wait! I’m always looking for marriage challenges. Anything to keep God’s gift of marriage improving. If we stop trying to improve, we’ll start losing it, right? Love it!!
I – we – SO need this. Looking forward to it!
With encouragement, I tend to add “hints” that might make him do something better the next time. I have always been one to want “constructive criticism” and prefer for people who love me to give it to me rather than find out from someone else. My husband…not so much. I am hoping that not only will this challenge give me the opportunity to remind my hubs how much I love him and 14 days of showing it but may teach me how to love & encourage without some of my bossiness coming out. LOL thanks Kayse!
I am so looking forward to this! And can I just say how much I love the idea of 14 days of love to lead to Valentine’s Day?!??!
Thank you so much for this amazing opportunity. This is exactly what our marriage needs right now!
Looking forward to this class! thanks
Looking good forward to doing this with you.
The biggest struggle I have is encouraging my husband enough when he is struggling with things outside his comfort zone.