The only thing you can change in your marriage
I bought this sign for our bedroom a few years back, when my husband and I were struggling through a season of arguing. See, by nature we’re both strong-willed, opinionated people who like to do things very differently.
These characteristics just so happen to lend themselves some…heated discussions.
(I’m sure you and your husband have no idea what I’m talking about. 🤣)
So, when I saw this sign go up for sale, I snagged it. I’d been looking for pieces to decorate the walls of our bedroom, and I thought this was just perfect – a visual reminder for both of us.
WE LOVE BECAUSE HE FIRST LOVED US. If Scripture can’t stop us in our tracks, nothing can, right?
Listen, I’ll be the first to raise my hand and admit that marriage can be HARD.
We are 13 years into a marriage that has had its fair share of ups and downs. We’re no longer naive newlyweds, nor are we wise grandparents quite yet. We’re in these middle years, the ones rife with a mix of joy, comfort, and hard, hard work.
One (of many) lessons I’ve learned in the last few years is that I cannot change my husband. It simply doesn’t work.
And it’s not my job.
The one thing I CAN change, however, is my own attitude. When we’re at odds with each other, disagreeing over one thing or another, I can’t change Jon – I can only change ME.
Disclaimer: I can only do this through the power of the Holy Spirit, who changes my heart when I submit it to the Lord. There is literally not one single bone in my body that ever wants to bring my own attitude under control.
Through Christ, I can control my response to my husband, the looks I give him, the way I talk to him, the way I treat him, and how I act when things don’t go my way.
And that’s what we’re going to chat about today. The things WE can control in our marriages. (Thank you, Jesus.)
Because do you know another lesson I’ve learned in the last few years? There is one thing that makes an almost immediate difference in our marriage – for the better.
Do you know what that one thing is?
Encouraging my husband.
Men thrive on encouragement, whether they admit it or not. Reminding them that they are doing a good job, that they matter, and that we appreciate them – it all combines to embolden & strengthen them to be their very best.
And as we encourage our husbands, guess what? The way we see them changes as well. We begin to look for the good things, instead of the flaws. We are more grateful, more understanding.
And our marriages change for the better.
So let’s encourage our husbands…together.
I’d love to invite you to join me for our 7th annual Encourage Your Husband Challenge! I’ve put together a two-week challenge for us to build up our husbands through encouragement, service, and Scripture.
Listen, I know that taking that first step to be the encourager – especially when you might feel that you’re the one in desperate need of some encouragement – can be a bit of a hard pill to swallow.
But trust me when I tell you that you won’t regret it. Intentionally taking the initiative to encourage your husband will end up strengthening your marriage and, in turn, encouraging you, too.
And don’t worry, we’ll be doing it together, and I will literally guide you through the whole thing!
Each day, you’ll get an email with a short challenge in it – something small but meaningful that you can do for your husband that day, along with a Scripture to encourage you as a wife. We’ll come together each day afterwards in our private community group, and share things we’re learning, how our husbands are responding (if you feel comfortable), and just encourage one another as we encourage our husbands.
You can sign up for this totally free challenge here, or by clicking the button below. That way, I’ll know exactly where to send your challenge emails, and you’ll be able to start immediately!
Friends, marriage is hard, but our God is big. I hope you join us for this challenge, as we focus on what He says about our marriages & how we can encourage our husbands. Who knows? It might just be a turning point for you.
I’m praying for you all! Don’t forget to sign up HERE & get started today!
Are you in? Share the challenge with your friends!
Kayse is a wife, mom, and founder of the Anchored Women community. She writes to help women fight busy, find rest, and build a life that’s anchored in Christ. Kayse is also the creator of the S.O.S. Planner, the Anchored Life Kit, and other practical resources that equip women to manage their homes and families in confidence. You can find her writing and her resources at anchored-women.com!